Can't cope..... Need to SH... *contains abuse*

[Lucy84]

I blame myself....

I should just cut and not stop.

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

Please don't! I don't want you to do it, and we all want you to be okay.
There's so many things in life you can do right now to take your mind off it. Ever tried taking a walk outside and just relaxing with the fresh air?

[Lucy84]

I might try and go for a run in a bit. Try to clear my head.

I just feel like I am a burden...

Sorry for bothering you.
X

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

Running is awesome! ;) I hope you get better.
You're not a burden, don't you worry about that x

[Lucy84]

I am sorry for taking up your time x

[Lucy84]

Went for a run.. helped a bit..

Still feel very depressed though and have noone to talk to.... that is when I cut.... it means I don't make others angry...

X

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

Why do you think you make others angry? :/ and how long are you feeling this sad?
But at least the run helped

[Lucy84]

Because I am a burden....

I have had depression and self harmed for 15 years....

But it has been worse the past few months since I have started to face my abuse...

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

You are very strong for fighting all that time! 15 years is just as almost as me, but add two years (well..September 4th). I only had such problems from roughly two years. If you fought for that long, you're not a burden! :)

That's a really good achievement! It shows you're really strong, and I'm sure a lot of people would want you as their inspiration x
It may get worse but I'm sure in the end when you finally defeat your problems it'll be a hill down for you :)

[Lucy84]

I don't feel strong and I certainly shouldn't be bothering you sweetheart.

Im sorry xxx

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

You're not bothering me, you're making me happy I can help you ♥

[Lucy84]

I should not be bothering you with this though....

I feel like a failure..

[Zurg]

Hey Lucy. I can understand the feeling of being scared of bothering people and the fear that you are not worth anyone's time. But this forum was made so people like you and me have a place to go when we need a helping hand or a listening ear (or a pair of reading eyes in this case...).

You are not bothering anyone, people choose to reply to this because they care and because they want to help, so writing here is perfectly fine. I know it's hard to be open when you've spent all your life shutting up about everything. But this forum is in many ways a great place to try to open up because it often feels less intimidating telling something to people you have never met and people who don't know who you really are. Being anonymous like on here can be a libearting feeling when you have to start talking about stuff that has happened.

I hope you will believe us when we say that you're not bothering anyone by opening up on here. So type away. It's what we're here for!!!!

[Lucy84]

Thanks

I am just afraid. I want to cut so badly but also want to talk but I dont want to get into trouble....

X

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

Please don't say that :/ I'm here to talk to you whenever you need me!

Don't feel like a failure, because you're not x

[Lucy84]

Freaking out..........

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

What's wrong Lucy?

[Lucy84]

I have been around so many people I don't know at a wedding today. I feel so unsafe being around people I dont know. My counsellor says t is because I feel like my rapist is on the loose.

I want to cut so badly....but I couldn't because I would gt noticed. I had to pretend I was all happy.

Now I am on my way home and I just want to cut...

[XxDarkenedHeartXx]

I guess that's good that you didn't! But you really must remember that we are all here to help you and to listen.
Do you think it's wise to call a help line if you really can't control it?

[Lucy84]

I can't talk on the phone.... I am an idiot! A failure!