do I need friends?

EMH · 29-06-2016, 07:32 PM

I'm finding it hard to understand how I feel, so this will likely be jumbled, apologies in advance.

Back where I used to live I would say I had about 3 close friends. We would talk online and occasionally meet up. Not exessively, but enough.

I moved a couple years ago so seeing in person is harder, but online should be just as easy.

My friends have all stopped talking. One of them, sees the messages I send but does not respond, and if she does it is one sentence replies then she is gone again. Once in a blue moon, basically when she needs to talk to me, we will have a conversation then she is gone again. Other friend seems to have stopped talking completely.

Maybe they have realised me for what I am. Disgusting, selfish, boring person who cant talk about happy things.
My boyfriend says he is all I should need. I dont need any friends because I have him.
So how do I stop feeling so lonely? Stop feeling sad for missing friendships that kept me together? They have obviously moved on, why cant I?

Pi.R^2 · 02-07-2016, 03:37 PM

To be honest, I find it a little bit worrying that your boyfriend says that you don't need friends because you have him. I may be completely off the mark, but it sounds like he might be a bit controlling- do you think he would object if you spent time with people other than him?

Sorry that your friends have distanced themselves, it's really hard when people seem to randomly stop talking to you (or indeed only talk to you when they need you) and it doesn't mean you should feel able to just move on as easily as they have appeared to. How would you feel about making some new friends? Maybe online, or through a hobby of some sort? Also, no, it doesn't mean you are selfish or boring or any of that. Sometimes people just grow apart and neither party has done anything wrong.

Sometimes having friends is really hard but I do think we need friends and it sounds like you are feeling lonely just having your boyfriend around so starting to make some new friends might prove to be really positive for you.

yoyogirl · 03-07-2016, 12:49 PM

I would say the best thing you can do is get a hobby and make friends through your hobby, if however it is difficult due to your locality. Then make the most of your internet connection. From experience, I found that making friends online is a lot safer and I have connected with a lot of people. I have known some of my online friends for almost 6-7 years and they have been the closest friends and a lot better than all my real life friends combined.

There are plenty of places you go online just pop and google and away you go :) I found goodreads and wattpad is great for book readers/writers

EMH · 11-07-2016, 06:45 PM

thank you so much for replying
ive tried making friends over hobbies and such, i think after a while it all really panics me and maybe i expect too much or just realise they hate me or i dont know. its all quite hard.
i know that people grow up and move on and become different so i dont know why its so hard to tell myself that about this situation with the people i once hung out with.
i dont know.
sorry this seems like a pointless thread :/

Pi.R^2 · 16-07-2016, 11:00 PM

I can relate to it being really hard- social situations are stressful, especially with new friends/acquaintances. It's worth it in the end when a friendship works out! What are your hobbies?

I get that it's difficult to tell yourself that; even though there's a logical situation it's still painful when a friendship isn't what it used to be.

Not a pointless thread at all, I hope it helps to talk through it!