Feeling strange -bipolar

[[SundayGirl]]

I'm really struggling to deal with my mental health at the moment. I have bipolar and i usually mostly suffer with depression. I have small episodes of mania but they seem to be controlled by well with my meds as I've only ever had one severe manic episode.


Anyway, I feel strange.
I feel so painfully depressed yet so aggitated. I feel like I want to sleep forever but also like I need to keep moving constantly. I don't have the motivation to do anything but also have the need to do things. I feel conflicted. I feel upset and happy all at the same time and it's confusing.
I really want to hurt myself but I also don't want to.

The usual signs of my depression are here, fatigue, anxiety, nightmares, irritability etc but I'm also expecting hyperactivity, paranoia and spending wrecklesy.
What the hell?
I want to self medicate to ease how strange I feel.

What should I do?

[HopeRises]

Sounds like a mixed episode. I get that sometimes. If it's uncomfortable and you're tempted to self medicate ( which I would advise against) could you ring the MH team or if you're not under them your gp?

[Irisflower]

I agree with Hope Rises, it does sound like a mixed episode. Don't self medicate, see your doctor.

[[SundayGirl]]

csn my team help?
I feel so awful I haven't self harmed in a year but I can't take this up and down I feel close to doing it

[bitomato]

I am sorry you are experiencing this.
Can you keep a journal of the thoughts, feelings you are experiencing?

Do you take your meds at the same time of day?

In the course of a day/ week I find I forget incidences of depression, hypomania, anger, sadness....also noting how long you sleep etc.

This is all helpful when contacting your team.
I hope you find the support you need.

[HopeRises]

I would definitely recommend speaking to your team. I know it's tiring. Is there anything else you can do instead of self harm?

[Eir]

Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. I'm like this right now.
*Hugs*

[~SuNsHiNe~]

Ive been there and know how difficult it is, please try to talk to your dr or psych and get support. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs

[HopeRises]

I am wondering how you are now? Did you speak to your team about it?

[[SundayGirl]]

Thank you for the replies
Unfortunately I haven't Been very good and I ended up taking things abit far. I've been taking drugs to cheer me up but now it's been stopped and I'm depressed anyway the come down isn't good and I'm struggling.

[bitomato]

Thinking of you. Hugs