Contains bullying - I was bullied in high school by a girl and her mom
Long story short this happened a couple years ago and it still gets me incredibly sad thinking about it. I moved to a new neighborhood and met my neighbors. No one liked the neighbors i had next door but i got to know them a little bit better and thought they were nice. I ended up meeting a girl who was the same age as me and was going to the same school as me in August. She was nice at first but not very smart and extremely pretty. I was a book nerd and wasn't very confident. I got to know her and her mom and ended up being mistreated awfully.
The mother would call me ugly and tell me that i had problems, didn't have any friends and that i was fat. None of it was true but i believed me. The mother even told me that her daughter was popular, and that she had a lot of guy friends and friends and that she didn't want me to ruin it for her. Her mom was a severe alcohol and after a few months of the summer i stopped talking to them. When school started up i didn't tell my mom what was going on and my mother who was a single parent told me i had to drive to school with the neighbor who insisted on taking me. I ended up going and didn't want my mom to be hurt about what had happened.
A few months in school the mother would drive me to school. I would show up to their house very early, and the mother would tell me, " why the hell are you wearing something like that, your hair looks awful, no guy will like you." While her daughter was getting her hair and makeup done for school, which always made me late because apparently it was my fault. I went to school and surprisingly got a lot of new friends, joined some clubs, and had a fun time. I don't know how it started but the mother would always say mean things to me every morning i saw her or when i was walking through the neighborhood. The daughter who was my same age would treat me awful in school and would get a group of girls to pick on me, and throw stuff at me.
The daughter online at a conversation with a guy i liked that she knew i liked, printed out their conversations and showed me that he thought she was really pretty and i was a nerd and ugly. She even told me i was invited to a sleep over to her friends that i thought wanted to be friends with me after picking on me. Turns out the girl never invited me laughed at me when i showed up and the neighbor mom told me ( who drove me ) that i was ruining her daughters popularity and that i was a loser. I ended up becoming depressed and distancing myself from friends and told my mom about the issues.
My mom was furious and ended up inviting the neighbor over for a talk. My mom was so appalled that a woman the same age as her told my own mother i was the problem, i was ugly' fat, unpopular, and that her daughter was this model student that everyone loved. I wish my mom would have said more but she stood up for me, told her that she needed a reality check and that popularity wasn't everything. ( the mom wanted to live her horrible high school days through her daughter) Just a litle over a few years ago my mom ended up passing away and i ended up going to a new school. I kept in contact with a lot of friends who were nice to me. I recently got a message from the neighbors mom through facebook. It was around 3 am and I'm guessing the mom was drinking.
She wrote to me that she thought of me as a daughter and that she promised my mom she would watch over us. ( she never spoke to my mom in the few years after the argument). I ignored it but it still bothers me to this day. I think its best to leave things a lone in the past and move on.
It just still is unbearable that a girl who was friends with you that you trusted treated you like dirt, manipulated you and made fun of you behind your back. Ironically, at the College I'm at now her sister that i somewhat knew goes there. I ran into the mother and walked away not seeing her for a few years. SHould i say something to her the next time i see her?
Thank you for the support. I'm just trying to figure out what i should do or how to go about talking to the neighbor if i run into her. There were a lot of previous problems with my family before my mom passing away and after but my friends have been a huge support.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uglyducklin
I'm so sorry for all you have been through applecupcakes and for the loss of your mum. I don't have any advice I'm sorry but I'm thinking of you x
I wouldnt give the mother the satisfaction of letting her belittle you again, i did have a situation when i was younger not totally the same as you but had the same problems and was manipulated and mentally bullied by a family , for years i avoided all of them at all costs as i could not take one more word from them, now years on i actually came face to face with the mother and son few weeks back, and to my surprise they put here heads down and scurried past, everyone is different and act different, but i wouldn't even make eye contact with what you went through, just walk past like you don't even know they are there, it still hurts deep but knowing they think different makes it a little less painful
I truly sry for what you went through and the loss you have had to deal with, don't put yourself into a situation though where this woman and daughter can get to you again , save your love and energy for your friends that you can trust
Thank you Northern Viking. I think you are absolutely right too. I have a feeling that i may run into her at school and i think it is best to just ignore her. I think I'm going to be the better person and not say anything like how mean she was or what she did was wrong because it may add on to the fuel. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I was bullied physically and mentally by family members as well and have distanced myself from them. I really hope you have a good support group with friends and ignore the negativity as well. I think a lot of people who are bullies who are faced with their victims and realize what they have done are embarrassed. When the daughters mother messaged me she made it like it was my fault for everything and that she was always there supporting us... which wasn't the case at all. Some people too are so blinded by their own intentions that they sometimes don't even realize what they're are doing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern viking
I wouldnt give the mother the satisfaction of letting her belittle you again, i did have a situation when i was younger not totally the same as you but had the same problems and was manipulated and mentally bullied by a family , for years i avoided all of them at all costs as i could not take one more word from them, now years on i actually came face to face with the mother and son few weeks back, and to my surprise they put here heads down and scurried past, everyone is different and act different, but i wouldn't even make eye contact with what you went through, just walk past like you don't even know they are there, it still hurts deep but knowing they think different makes it a little less painful
I truly sry for what you went through and the loss you have had to deal with, don't put yourself into a situation though where this woman and daughter can get to you again , save your love and energy for your friends that you can trust
Ive lost 90% of my friends after i became disabled and couldn't get out the house much, only a few real friends that keep in touch and come along, most of my family i don't have contact with either, use to babysit all my uncle and auntie children and friends kids near every weekend, now i haven't heard from them in years when i need help back, being stuck os the worst of all, i have the kids and my wife, but cant get further then the garden now, and when my back is a little better i feel so low and depressed i cant leave the house anyway, i think your doing the right thing not talking to her, even if you said how much hey hurt you it would only make them start over and if you gave them a chance could you ever trust them ? , i know from my experience i feel better now and i don't worry as much about meeting them anywhere, its much harder for you with going to collage, the way i see my bullies now is they feel so pathetic about there life they make others miserable so they don't feel like they are that bad instead of trying to improve there life,
I'm terribly sorry to hear about that Northern Viking. I had family members as well that i used to take care of and a lot of them are so money oriented that they only care about themselves or people who make a lot of money. I hope you take in the positive things day by day and it's good to know that you are surrounded by family members like your wife and kids who truly matter to you. If you feel depressed you should try to find a good story to read, watch a movie or take up a fun hobby to keep yourself occupied. If i were to ever meet them again and they were to invite me over knowing them i don't think i would ever give them another chance to treat me the same way they did before. I wouldn't trust them and friendship should be based on trust. I ended up finally finding out too from another friend that the daughter i used to hang out with hasn't changed, still hangs out with the same people who like pick on other people and is still conceited about herself and finding a rich husband to marry. Being older now and actually realizing that my mom was right that bullies are in fact pathetic. I almost pity past bad experiences from my bullies because a lot of them now seem so insecure and helpless that they've treated others that way to make themselves feel better.
.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern viking
Ive lost 90% of my friends after i became disabled and couldn't get out the house much, only a few real friends that keep in touch and come along, most of my family i don't have contact with either, use to babysit all my uncle and auntie children and friends kids near every weekend, now i haven't heard from them in years when i need help back, being stuck os the worst of all, i have the kids and my wife, but cant get further then the garden now, and when my back is a little better i feel so low and depressed i cant leave the house anyway, i think your doing the right thing not talking to her, even if you said how much hey hurt you it would only make them start over and if you gave them a chance could you ever trust them ? , i know from my experience i feel better now and i don't worry as much about meeting them anywhere, its much harder for you with going to collage, the way i see my bullies now is they feel so pathetic about there life they make others miserable so they don't feel like they are that bad instead of trying to improve there life,
I ignored it but it still bothers me to this day. I think its best to leave things a lone in the past and move on.
It just still is unbearable that a girl who was friends with you that you trusted treated you like dirt, manipulated you and made fun of you behind your back. Ironically, at the College I'm at now her sister that i somewhat knew goes there. I ran into the mother and walked away not seeing her for a few years. SHould i say something to her the next time i see her?
Yeah leave them alone. Stuff only still bothers you because they got you to resent them and that allows them to get under your skin and pull on your thoughts and feelings. As you go through life you meet a lot of dysfunctional people. Just keep moving and go past them like telephone poles when you're in a car. A lot of people are just meaningless and you don't want to feed yourself to them out of old resentments and guilts
