Don't know how to fix myself

[Kallio]

Hello everyone, maybe someone can give me some advice.
I struggle with depression and my mood being extremely reactive, meaning that even when I know on a logical level that something isn't that dramatic my mood still crashes and I start spiraling. I constantly get stuck in this loop of feeling bad and then feeling bad for feeling bad because I know I'm being overdramatic and others have if a lot worse and then I get desperate because I can't change how I feel and then I start hating myself for the way I am and it just gets worse and worse.
I'm trying to focus on the positive and live in the present and to concentrate on what is happening right now instead of pondering the past or theoretical scenarios. But I don't feel like it's helping much.
I'm on natural antidepressants too but maybe they're not strong enough. I'm also starting therapy soon.
I think my issue is that I don't have a "real" defined problem that I can analyse and then fix. Instead the flaw is in my brain or my personality or something like that and I feel like it's just not getting any better. It feels like I'm trying to fix someone (me) whom I actually want to fight and destroy. I don't know how to fix this and I'm tired.

[Auror.]

Hopefully starting therapy will be good for you, and give you some strategies for helping to get out of thought spirals and regulate your mood.

If you're on natural antidepressants (unsure what exactly you're meaning) it might be worth speaking to a medical provider to see if what you are taking is safe, make sure you have nothing medical going on that could be a factor in influencing any of your mood issues, and help you to explore other options for medications that might be more effective.