Directing attention with some degree of competence?
Hello.
This is a thing that's got worse at the same time as it's got better and that makes no sense so I'll try to explain.
Basically for years I couldn't concentrate because I didn't have the motivation/energy/will to live. It was a pointless enterprise because in being asleep was much more fun than literally anything. As I've got better over the last couple of years, I've gradually discovered I'm actually quite interested in things and want to learn/watch TV/read a book. The trouble is my brain absolutely will not prioritise all the things I have this newfound motivation for, and I end up attempting them all at once, which inevitably means I end up on tiktok for hours instead. Today I want to study a couple of chapters of my course (because it's really interesting) and also watch a film or a couple of episodes of something. These are things I WANT to do (the things I HAVE to do are even worse). I've just realised I have so many tabs open on my browser it should be illegal, three journals/dairies open next to me as well as my uni work, Netflix is open with Don't Look Up paused on it, I have Chicago Fire paused on another and I've just started watching 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.
In theory this should be easy to solve, but as soon as I start one task I think of a different one no matter how compelling the original task was, and lose all focus. I am still getting things done but it is a very time consuming process.
This is something I've experienced all my life but it's not been this intense since I was about twelve, and while I'm waiting to get my ADHD diagnosis recognised and my specialist support at uni put in place, chaos reigns. It's also less endearing when you're 31 years old, I find.
Anyway. I was just wondering if anyone who has experience with this kind of thing had any advice/experiences to share about how they hold attention for more than 37 seconds at a time. :)
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
I’m in the phase of ‘all I want to do is sleep’ just now so I can relate a little bit.
If you like to do lists, could you write down everything you want to do in a numbered list? You could assign a specific amount of time for each task and go through it. If you find you’re easily distracted, set alarms to bring you back to what you were doing (kind of like mindfulness and bells to bring you back to the present) and set up everything you need beforehand. I would also close all the tabs and clear your space a bit :P
I don’t know how helpful that would be as like I said I’m in the ‘life sucks so I’ll just sleep all the time’ phase but when I was a bit more functional, that used to help.
You are correct. A to do list would be the place to start (I hate when my advice comes back to bite me)
I was forced to close all the tabs when I asked my computer to do one thing too many and it had a lil anxiety attack, bless its heart.
I think I might start using a timer that makes a Big Noise to let me know it's time to move on, that's a good idea.
I *know* I need to make it as easy as possible to stay focused, it's just that even then it's almost like I don't notice until I'm actively attempting fourteen things at once, or I realise I've just been watching cats on treadmills for three hours instead. Mindfulness, right. Ugh.
Hope you feel better soon <3
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
Have you heard of the pomodoro technique? Basically its a system where you focus for 25 minutes, have a short break then focus for another 25. We use it at work for helping the kids to focus (although in shorter time spans) and to help them with transitioning from one activity to the next.
I was thinking that might help with the ‘not realising you’re doing 14 things at once’ if you set the timer to say 10 minutes and then have an alarm to ‘wake you up’ (wrong phrase) if you’re doing too many things at once.
So when I need to focus on one thing in an internet browser but don't want to close all my tabs, I only ONLY that tab in one separate window, and minimize the window with all of my other million tabs. I also overuse bookmarks so will bookmark them all and then go back to them later.
Basically also just want to add that starting small may be the key. Focusing is like a muscle and you have to practice and work up to it. I've been experimenting with different apps (so far I really like Forest and brain.fm but both are a small fee) to find things to help motivate me. I've also found that having a routine for what I do before I focus helps too! For example, before I am going to focus on something, I take my dog outside to the bathroom, go to the bathroom myself, eat a snack if I need it, make sure I have a drink and tissues sat next to me, all my supplies, etc.. That way I don't need to get up for anything. I also keep a post it and pen next to me to jot things down that I think of as I'm going along.
It's hard. It's REALLY hard.
It was suggested to me when writing a list, to list them in order of priority. So you can group the things by like, high priority vs low, or like for me, "things I have to do" versus "things I want to do" or "things I should also do". This way I don't have to just work on one thing, and if the thing I absolutely have to do doesn't feel doable but a thing from one of my different lists does, I can do it instead and still feel like I've done something.
I also really like fidgets and if I need to focus I am usually fidgeting or physically moving in some other way. I find that helps me stay focused better. I also have certain times of day in which I focus better, and find it helpful if I've ticked any little things off my to do list for the day, like little errands or laundry so I'm less worried about getting them done still.
(Most of these tips came from my coach human btw and have been tailored to me specifically.) Sorry for the ramble but hope some of it might be of use?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Another thing I've been doing is trying to note how long things take - especially tasks you have to do often. That way once you know that, you can incorporate it into any lists as well.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I personally use lists and most days I write numbers next to the task because in the moment I often can't decide what to do next.
Currently doing a trial where instead I put ratings next to the task instead for high, medium and low priority.
If the executive dysfunction is hitting extra hard on any given day I pick up to three things that *have* to get done before the end of the day and the rest will just have to wait. It reduces the numbers of tasks on my list, so my brain feels less cluttered and focusing on one task becomes a bit easier.
Other days, I just let my attention go wherever it fancies and do whatever task it randomly latches onto. Sometimes, I get a shocking amount of work done that way, others, not so much.
My theory is that my brain is more willing to play nice most days if I let it run wild every now and then.
Things have been going OK, I'm working really hard on bed time at the moment, so for a few hours in the evening I try to focus on one off screen thing, or maybe a film. It's slow going and sometimes I don't do it at all but it's working I think.
I still haven't managed to make a priority list (because I keep forgetting).
I've also discovered I focus better when I'm chewing something so I'm ordering a chewy pendant thing
'It's an impossible choice ... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.'
"You're not scared of climbing mountains. You're scared that you can't make them move."
The chewy pendant is a fantastic idea! Also slow progress is totally awesome and worth celebrating! Bedtime is the hardest thing for me by far lol. Are you tracking your successes in any way?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I guess it depends what works for you. There's the obvious things like sticker charts or habit trackers. But if those aren't useful you could always come up with a different way to do it. I hope the pendant arrives!
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
so I'm ordering a chewy pendant thing