Same sex relationship and kids - rediculous question

[Ballerina123]

I actually quite embarrassed to ask this question because I feel I should know the answer but I don't.
I hope this is not too juvinile.

How do people in same sex relationships have kids?

Like I know it's sperm donation or surrigercy but, what is the actual process and options they have.

I bring this up because I was talking to my partner about if I ever wanted kids and realise that I have no clue how to go about it even if I did (I'm in a same sex relationship).

Like do you go to your gp?
Do you have to go private?
What's the process in finding doner sperm?
Why do I see some people having ivf?


Also (baring in mind my partner and I are female) how do you decide who should carry the child?

Thanks

[[Luna]]

There are a lot of options for same sex couples to have children.

As you're female I'll focus on that.
If you know someone that is willing to be a sperm donor then you could get a home insemination kit and do it that way. You would want to test the donor for STIs first and know their family medical history. The success of this would depend obviously on your fertility and his fertility just like any other people trying to concieve.

With donor sperm it's a bit more complicated and my knowledge is based on practice in the UK. I know you're currently not in the UK.
In the UK it's not legal to use donor sperm at home. It needs to be used in a clinic either through the NHS or private.
You have two options really.
IUI (intrauterine insemination) where fast acting sperm is inserted into the vagina (this can be done with anonymous or a known sperm donor) or IVF (In vitro fertilization) where an egg is fertilised outside of the body and inserted back into the womb (also down with a known or anonymous donor).

Personally my wife and I had to go private because she has a child from a previous relationship and therefore we do not qualify for NHS treatment. We are also having IVF because the treatments cost a lot of money and IVF has a higher success rates.

Deciding who will carry the child is totally a personal thing to be discussed between you and your partner.

Feel free to ask any other questions you have and I'll try my best to answer them.
xxx

[Iamcatbug]

Quote:

Originally Posted by [Luna]

With donor sperm it's a bit more complicated and my knowledge is based on practice in the UK. I know you're currently not in the UK.
In the UK it's not legal to use donor sperm at home. It needs to be used in a clinic either through the NHS or private.

I hate to be pedantic and this is a bit of a tangent to the OP, but actually it is legal to use sperm donation at home, its just not seen as the best option and is advised against by medical people due to legal complications that can arise.

Anyway, OP, it might help you to have a read around on websites for the country you currently reside in for their rules and regulations on sperm donation etc. There are some good sites out there that deal with this.

[[Luna]]

I was told Anonymous donor sperm from UK sperm banks needs to be used in a clinic and cannot be used at home. London sperm bank for example can only be used in HFEA approved clinics.

[[Luna]]

There are ways to use anonymous donor sperm at home but anyway, research is key and knowing the ins and out of procedures where you live is a good idea before deciding what to do, like Cat says xx

[Ballerina123]

Thanks Emma that is really helpful.

I'm not deciding either way right now so I'll not look at the Danish system unless I need to. It was more a general understanding I was looking for.

Can I ask how you chose the sperm at a sperm bank?
Is it like you chose a profile or does the doctor who/what sperm would be appropriate?
(again this is not country specific, just a general wondering)