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Old 28-06-2010, 07:03 PM   #28161
Scarletdreamer
.toxic.girl.april.
 
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Location: In my head.
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*hugs louise* sure you can. :) i'm sorry that you're not feeling too great at the moment. anything we can do to help?

updated r/v.......... :'(



RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:04 PM   #28162
I'mJustMe
 
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Hey Louise. What's up sweetie? Sure you can join us, the more the merrier.

April- you sound like me in my ICT lessons. When I was meant to be doing coursework, facebook, writing and fanfiction were much more appealing. I passed the course-just. I very nearly got chucked off it.

Can I share a poem with you all? I prefer to do it here rather than the creative corner, it's a way of getting my feelings across and getting support as well as feedback.

Warning- could be triggering for suicide.

Last Fate


Sadness tugs
At the core of my heart
From you there's no love
No warmth, no hugs.


The loneliness grows
Spreading through me
Diseased and hollow
My soul fights to be free


The break of a plate
Echoes the walls
I shrink back behind it
Cowering in wait.


I wake in the morning
The emptiness is there
As I kneel on the floor
And begin my prayer.


Help me God, please
I can't make another day
Guide me through this
Please show me the way.


There is silence
As I finish my plea
I'm thrown from my safety
completely at sea.


The sparkle is gone
The laughter is dead
Non one hears
What goes on in my head.


I'm all alone now
There's no one up there
No one to see me
To hear my prayer.


I'll soon be free now
That death is soon here
I can feel it coming
I know it is near.


I take one last look
At the world I hate
I smile at the sun
And embrace my fate.

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Old 28-06-2010, 07:08 PM   #28163
Louise
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thanks everyone, just feeling pretty low due to my step mum. I hate myself so much I'm so useless.

*hugs everyone*

Lia - that is a lovely poem, very powerful and emotional





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:10 PM   #28164
SoMuchMore
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*hugs lia* well if you ever do want to talk about your feelings we are all here for you. I like you poem... its sad though.

*hugs april* yay for almost being done with your internship! I read your r/v thread. Sorry that you are not feeling any better at all. Try to do something nice for yourself. Oo and i bet getting new cello stuff would be fun.
I updated my r/v thread too... right after you did actually heh. So if you're still looking for it it should be on that front page for a little bit anyway. But just a warning.. some of it probably won't make sense

*hugs louise* of course you can come in here. you are not useless


Last edited by SoMuchMore : 28-06-2010 at 07:11 PM. Reason: adding more people


<3

forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past
- buddy wakefield

I won't give up if you don't give up



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Old 28-06-2010, 07:12 PM   #28165
PoisonedApple
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: 7th Layer of Hell

*sings to self ~jello, jello, i love jello~ and plays with her food*



I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!

"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:13 PM   #28166
Louise
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*hugs Laura* thank, how are you?





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:24 PM   #28167
katnovia
it's not all as perfect as it looks
 
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too many pages...way too many pages... *yawns and rubs eyes and neck* Sorry everyone, can't do it, can't catch up..I left on page 1404...so that'd be 18 pages... *cuddles everyone who wants a cuddle*



You are talking to: Kat
The Others are: Annabell (Belle), Rosie, Lotty, Kate, Amy, Jessica (Jess), Sarah, Ramiel(Miel), Elizabeth (Liz), Shadow


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:28 PM   #28168
I'mJustMe
 
Join Date: Feb 2009

Do you feel like sharing with us why your stepmum has made you feel this way Louise?

April, I'm so sorry you feel like you do. At least you say you won't kill yourself, hold onto that strength and what is making you feel that you won't end your life. For you to say that, there has to be something keeping you here. Remember all those things you're here for.

How are you Angelic Monster?

xx

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Old 28-06-2010, 07:30 PM   #28169
I'mJustMe
 
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Hey Katnovia, how are you feeling?

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Old 28-06-2010, 07:38 PM   #28170
PoisonedApple
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: 7th Layer of Hell

I am...hmmm... I dunno. Not bad so far today though. *offers jello* it's strawberry banana flavor.and it jiggles :D
Decided to let myself be a kid today if I wanna be as long as my work gets done too so this morning's break was jello-filled fun. lol



I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!

"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:39 PM   #28171
PoisonedApple
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How is everyone else doing today? *sorry didn't read all the pages I'd missed this morning*
*leaves hugs and jello shapes on the table for all*



I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!

"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:40 PM   #28172
Doikers
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I like your poem Lia , Its very bleak , I hope it's ok to say that. I haven't written a poem in an age, I might if I thought they would be this good


Last edited by Doikers : 28-06-2010 at 07:45 PM. Reason: wording


I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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Old 28-06-2010, 07:44 PM   #28173
Louise
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'mJustMe View Post
Do you feel like sharing with us why your stepmum has made you feel this way Louise?
She abuses me calls me names





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 28-06-2010, 07:59 PM   #28174
I'mJustMe
 
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I'm sorry she's like that, no one deserves to be treated like that.

What do you mean by 'abuses' exactly? You don't have to answer that, I'm just trying to understand a little better. How do you feel about your dad?

x

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Old 28-06-2010, 07:59 PM   #28175
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Oh, and thanks Mark and everyone else who commented on my poem.

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Old 28-06-2010, 08:03 PM   #28176
Louise
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'mJustMe View Post
I'm sorry she's like that, no one deserves to be treated like that.

What do you mean by 'abuses' exactly? You don't have to answer that, I'm just trying to understand a little better. How do you feel about your dad?

x
She hits me and other things which I find hard to talk about, my dad erm died.





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 28-06-2010, 08:14 PM   #28177
I'mJustMe
 
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Oh, crap I'm sorry. Well that's my big feet nice and deeply in it. I'm so sorry about that. So it's just you and your stepmum. You know, no one deserves to be abused. I would tell you to tell someone, or something, but I know I couldn't. I know how you feel though and I know I never could.

Do you have any support?

You don't deserve it though, and don't believe it's your fault. I know how easy it is to feel that way.

x

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Old 28-06-2010, 08:18 PM   #28178
Louise
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i am in the middle of getting a new councillor, please don't worry about asking me it means a lot that someone listening to me





“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”


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Old 28-06-2010, 08:28 PM   #28179
I'mJustMe
 
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I'm glad you're getting support and I will always listen. How do you feel right now? Do you ever get along with your stepmum? Do you have any other family?
xx

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Old 28-06-2010, 08:50 PM   #28180
Doikers
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Possible trigger warning














My cut has stopped bleeding I Think , I feel so sad I want to cry but can't *Sigh*

Sorry I'm really struggling with feeling low latley and I cut and it made me numb but now the lowness is coming back again I CAN'T STAND IT , so soon , I don't even get to go to bed without feel low and I can't cut like THAT everyday .


Last edited by Doikers : 28-06-2010 at 09:05 PM. Reason: because of my many MANY other faults I mix words up


I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones

It's okay , they know me here .

Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)


''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"

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