43 Wrong Career?

[confused76]

Okay so I've been doing the same job pretty much for 19 years. I've worked at three different companies doing almost the same thing. I've been a graphic/web designer most of my adult life. I'm 43 now and I recently got laid off by my company of 8 years because I went to IT and left Graphic Design. I do also dab into IT from time to time but I sort of dislike it. I'm not much for customer service, I'm an Introvert so its been difficult and at my last company I asked after 6 months go back to Design and they laid me off for asking to move around too much.

I get it, I mean it shows my confusion. My bosses basically told me I have no passion for Graphic Design or IT because I had asked to move around during my time at the company. I sat in my exit meeting being told that i have no passion or love for work. I refuse to be happy when they offer me the world.

I left Web Design at that company because we had a new boss and I felt that was I was over looked for the position so I asked to move IT where I thought I'd do better and progress. I ended up in the same cycle I always do confused and stressed.

I'm starting to think just maybe its the field I've chosen. I've never finished college I have 53 credits and had this desire to become a History teacher for a long time but math always pushed me back and I never finished it. I've always been good with computers and graphic design its easy to me. It's not that I struggle trying to create stuff, I just find it boring from time to time. This is always the cycle, I make it about 6 to 7 years then I find myself wishing and dreaming for something more. Something I actually cared about.

My wife is great she's helped me a lot and she supports me through my own mistakes but I feel like a jerk for letting this happen. Its almost been a month I've been on 3 interviews, 2 I thought were great and 1 was a bomb. The 2 I thought were great both said no and choose someone else. I have a ton of experience and I felt I was a good fit for both positions but I guess I was incorrect. I'm a little bummed out.

I'm a big video gamer and I keep spending too much time in that world trying to lose focus on reality and the fact I lost my good paying job. I've always been a history buff so I've been sitting around gaming, watching history stuff or reading about it. I cant even seem to get myself to better my current tech skills. Though I did build a portfolio site.

I'm not getting any younger here. I'm so confused with myself I'm starting to wonder if I"m just not happy in my chosen career and I'm toying with the idea of going back to college at my old age. I'm fighting it because I like things how they are but yet I don't seem internally happy with who I've become. I keep applying for IT/Design jobs only wondering if I'll ever be happy taking one.

I'm sorry for the rambling I know I'm' all over the place. Just so many thoughts and no clue what to do with myself now.

[Isoverity]

All "jobs" get tedious. Sometimes a different job helps but if a person has been working in jobs long enough, the real direction to head in is self-employment. In IT, graphics etc it seems like people are readily disposble. I know so many people in IT who are burned-out because its one of first department to be cut down (budget) and have extra worked given to the remainers

[Mandimoo]

Hi, have you looked into self-employment? You could take on graphic design jobs and IT jobs to suit yourself, I know a lot of people who do both. It sounds like your previous employers weren't very supportive maybe it was the firm and not the career. Hopefully a short break will leave you ready to take on new challenges. First you need to have faith in yourself. Maybe you can do some distance learning in maths whilst you are looking for another job, it could help your confidence and tick something off your list of things you want to achieve.

[Usherroddy]

Firstly, three interviews are very few, and to find a really good job; you will have to go through a few failures before you are hired

[Pi.R^2]

Closing due to length of time since last post. confused76, feel free to PM me if you would ever like the thread reopening.