Would you still be having careers beckie? If so when they come could they leave the PRN out that you will need until they next come? That way it would be like maybe 2 doses max youd have access to at any time.
Yes I will Lillie
They don’t like leaving meds out because they suck but they have let me have a couple of ibuprofen out before so maybe they’d be ok with it
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I think more if it was a pre arranged planned thing with cmht involvement and a date to review it etc. As a way to stay out of hospital and a form of positive risk management. Worth a discussion anyway if the depot is still wearing off 2 days before it's due and you're needing PRN. Itd be a way to manage in the community.
I’m going to ask here as I value all your opinions way more than the staff here’s opinions.
Supported housing. Yes or no?
There are many pros and cons and I’m really conflicted.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m not looking for a concrete decision from anyone as obviously I will make my own choice but opinions would be appreciated
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Yes I probably should have included the pros and cons!
Pros:
- more support
- possibly fewer hospital admissions
- don’t have to worry about remembering to take meds
- can’t overdose because meds will be kept by staff
- people to talk to
Cons:
- loss of independence
- possibly a curfew
- people will notice just how disordered my eating is and I’m not ready for that
- won’t be able to have people round when I want
That’s what I can think of at the moment but I’m sure there will be more
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I think the pros sound really good - especially because the con re losing your independence/curfew is also a thing that occurs when you have to go into hospital.
I can absolutely understand why it would be upsetting and why having your own place and living independently is important to you though as well.
I wonder if there's any way to do a trial for a period of time to see what you think, but I recognize given current uh... circumstances that might not be possible. When do you have to decide by?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Regarding the pros, what pros are there that can’t be offered by the carers who are presently coming in? It seems as though you main two pros are medication. You mention more support, what will this support look like practically- as in what will it be to help with and how will it be different to what you have now?
Similarly, but conversely, regarding cons....in what way would this be a lack of freedom or independence? Nobody will physically restrain you from going on holiday but it might be a ‘safety break’ in that you’d need to discuss it with staff before going which might help with the impulse going if you were to become high in mood again. Surely that would be a positive, rationally speaking? If you were to want to go away when well I highly doubt they would even be able to stop you....I’ve had clients when I worked in supported housing who have gone away, even when we would have preferred they hadn’t.
Also how do you know you won’t be allowed people round? And as an aside...who DO you have round now?
Regarding eating.....perhaps this would be an incentive to go back onto the slimming world programme, not necessarily to lose weight but to get back in a healthier eating mode (and maybe kick the Coke Zero habit )
It wouldn't be forever Camden. But I'd lose my house because the housing benefit would have to be paid to supported housing.
I don't have to decide yet. The ward manager has mentioned to my cpn that I might possibly be open to the idea.
The thing with the carers is that they freak out whenever I mention something mental health related or any hint of 'unusual thoughts'. They aren't mental health trained and they don't help with that side of things. They do try and they are lovely but they just panic!
I don't know what more support would look like. I guess people to talk to whenever I need to who will understand what's going on a bit more and not just jump to hospital at the first mention of unusual thoughts.
Yes I guess that would be positive.
It would probably be part of my CTO conditions that I'd have to stay at the place overnight though. I've had that before and I got sectioned once because I wasn't back by 12am.
My best friend comes round quite a bit when the covid situation isn't so bad. And i like that my mum and Jasmine can just pop in whenever they want.
The ward manager mentioned that peoole are allowed round at the place she is thinking of but it has to be prearranged.
I was doing slimming world before but finding it hard to eat proper meals. I mainly ate soup and some fruit.
I'm pretty obsessed with losing weight which I haven't really talked about here before.
And I have started engaging in a not so good disordered behaviour again for the first time since being diagnosed then undiagnosed with bulimia 10 years ago.
I will NEVER kick the coke zero habit!
I am shocked you would even suggest such a thing! :p
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Is there not such a thing as mental health trained carers?? Surely they could get you some of those!!
It sounds like it's really going to depend on what the specific supported housing place would be like as to whether it will work for you. I guess my advice would be to ask to visit and speak to a regular staff member at wherever they suggest. You could then ask them about each of the cons on your list and see what the restrictions will be about visitors and staying out late and then use that to decide whether it's a price you're willing to pay for hopefully being safer and more supported.
Regarding the eating, erm, I have to say I think it would be a good thing if people noticed your disordered eating and gave some support, because like, ordered eating is way better. I'm guessing you would still have a high degree of autonomy over your eating so it's not like you would be forced into a meal plan or anything, but having some support with it might help prevent it escalating any further.
I had ward round today
They are going to look for a place for me and see what happens with that
Which is scary and I've been crying most of the day because I'm conflicted on what I want
And the doctor said she has to speak to my mum and the consultant about whether I can go home or not. Which won't be until next week now.
I just want to go home. I'm so fed up of being here
Yeah I suppose so.
I wish I could eat like a normal person and not feel immense guilt but at the same time I don't want to be stopped until I lose enough weight.
is it worth you having a talk to your mum about it? i can understand being conflicted because i know you love your house and seeing your mum and jasmine a lot. i know you've said she often just takes the dr's side but in this case idk if there is a right or wrong. so maybe she'd be a good person to talk to?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I've talked to my mum a bit today.
She just said she'll have to get the doctor's opinion on how I am.
The doctor today said I seem a lot better so I'm hoping it will go in my favour
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Maybe this is a silly question but I know it's always been something you've been flat out against in the past. What things have changed now that are making you think differently about it to even consider it?
I hope this isn't rude to ask.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
To be honest I know you’ve said you’re sick of this cycle and something has to change and I agree, meds on their own doesn’t seem to be keeping things stable, and neither do the carers. Mental health trained carers are a thing so I’m not sure why they can’t arrange this for you but it does seem, given that you aren’t willing (for understandable reasons) to consider the DBT placement, that supported housing may be a good compromise, at least in the short term. Regarding you being discharged before that’s arranged.....I guess that’s up to your care team, you and the staff. But I’d imagine there may have to be stricter conditions to your CTO regarding ‘behaviours’ and also openness with staff. One benefit I did wonder about in supported housing though would be the possibility of you restarting clozapine. Perhaps this would be something for you to mention or ask about at your next review?
That's not rude Camden, don't worry
I guess it's because I'm so sick of boomeranging (is that a word?) Back into hospital every few months. It's not a life. And maybe supported housing could help with that? I'm not sure how but I've tried everything else.
I didn't know mental health trained carers were a thing! It would make more sense to have those but maybe my area doesn't have them. It's quite a small team and they have to cover a large area.
That's a good idea Emma. I will ask about clozapine again. I really really want to go back on it. It's the only thing that has really worked. And the doctors agree that I should be on it. I'm such an idiot for stopping it.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
)
