"Are you ok?"

Stage Star · 15-12-2010, 05:56 PM

I appreciate it when people ask me if I'm ok. In fact, it often makes my day. But however low I'm feeling, I can only ever give one response; "Yes, fine thank you," followed by a smile.

I hate that I can't seem to admit that I'm actually NOT always ok. I just immediately say 'yes' when someone asks, then think to myself 'no you're not ok, you liar.' I can't say it out loud to them. If someone asks me in a text in an email however, I find it easy to go into my problems in depth.

I suppose it might be because, when someone asks you if you're alright, they are expecting a positive response, and I don't want to shock them with a negative one. I don't want to trouble them, even though it might be better if I did. By the way, I'm talking about my teachers and friends here.

Anyone got any advice on how to admit you're struggling?

Gone. · 15-12-2010, 06:13 PM

I do exactly the same thing and it often frustrates people.
I think that taking more time to consider your answer is key. If you think about whether you're 'fine' before answering then you're more likely to be truthful. Also, perhaps practice saying that you aren't okay? If you've practiced it then you'll be better at admitting it and that involves writing stuff down and using a mirror. Sounds weird but it can work.

Take care.

long road · 15-12-2010, 10:30 PM

I always find for me the truth of the answer will always depend on the person. some i can open up to when i get that question. others i can only mumble fine.
In fact i reallly appreciate them ask but it kinda of annoys me because it reminds me if i'm not.
I've come with a few strategies
1. if you want to be honest but not in depth you can say its not been a great day or you arent quite with it.
2. if you really dont feel like talk: thank them for asking saying knowing someone cares helps. this shows them you value their concern. you can tag a bit on explaining a little if you want.
3. start with a weak statement and if your feeling braver admit its worse than that once you have got talking and kind of ease your way into admitting your struggling.

i'm not great at it myself, but sometimes just saying to someone you trust your struggling can help make it a tiny bit easier.
Hope this makes some sort of helpfukl sense (i'm not really sure it does!)
keep safe x