Don't know where else to turn

[not_so_insig]

Keep on fighting Beckie. I have every faith in you xxx

[Cacoethes]

Thank you Dawn xx

I had a yogurt for breakfast
Im really trying

[one_step_closer]

You are trying mega hard, I'm sure it will pay off in the end.

[Cacoethes]

I had some lunch too!!
Still feels very uncomfortable though
I have considered stopping eating again but I want to go home and I'm not even sure about contamination anymore

[one_step_closer]

Well done with having lunch Beckie. I think you are definitely going in the right direction and stopping eating again would set things further back for you.

[Cacoethes]

Thanks
Yes you are right
I really want to move forward and get home

[tiptoes]

You are doing so well. I hope things continue to improve for you.

[Cacoethes]

Thank you

I am freaking out a bit because I've eaten today.
It doesn't feel right
And i want to go back to not eating and drinking
But I also need to get out of here

Also apparently there's something wrong with my blood test so am on multi vitamins and my other blood test is being rushed through because of an infection or something?
I really don't understand what they were saying

[Zurg]

I think it would be okay to ask them again. For clarification and maybe even some peace of mind.
Xxx

[Cacoethes]

Thats a good idea
I will ask x

[Cacoethes]

Im worried about my blood being contaminated again
I'm having to have blood tests every day now
And multi vitamins 4 times a day
It doesn't feel right
I dont know what's going on
And the nurses aren't sure either

[chinahorse]

Can you ask to see the duty doc and get them to explain?

Sorry I haven't replied earlier. You are in my thoughts.

[Cacoethes]

Thats a good idea.

No need to apologise!
Thank you

I've just had a visit from my mum and Jasmine.
I feel quite sad now
I'm just sick of being here.
I want to be at home
I want to go and see them at home and not have to come back to this bloody ward and back to being on 1:1 and seeing doctors and whatever
I've had enough

[chinahorse]

Can you use that feeling of frustration to work towards getting home?

Can you ask what you need to do to get off 1:1? What steps do you need to take etc.

[Cacoethes]

I'm trying to use it to get home.

I will ask.
It just doesn't make sense because I have been eating and as far as I know, I'm only on 1:1 because of the risk of me collapsing due to not eating.

[one_step_closer]

Keep asking about anything you're unsure about, this is your life and your treatment. I know it's awful being in hospital especially for a long period of time, you will get back home though. Keep moving forward. You can do this.

[Auror.]

I don't know and hopefully you could ask, but it could be something related to refeeding? I know that can really mess with electrolytes and body function and would potentially explain extra vitamins. When I first started eating again in eating disorder treatment I had to have the same thing done (daily bloods and extra vitamins for the first week or so), it was actually normal protocol due to risk.

[Cacoethes]

Thanks both

I asked the nurse and you are right Camden, its to make sure everything is ok now I've started eating again.

I desperately want to stop eating again because I feel so so bad but I also want to get home.
I've had to ask for extra meds plus usual meds and sleeping pills because I just want to be asleep.
My brain is not my friend today.

[Auror.]

Refeeding really sucks. I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. I hope tomorrow is a bit better for you and things feel slightly less awful. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to get home and trying super hard. I hope staff there can recognise that too.

[Cacoethes]

thank you
I am trying
The staff are being very good

I've only been awake like 30 mins and I already want to go back to sleep.
I do not want to be awake