"emo" girl offending me!

MaddieLyn · 24-08-2009, 04:13 AM

So theres a girl that goes to my school that im friends with on facebook.

she cut a heart on her breast and took a picture of it, edited it, blood running down and everything, and posted it.

i find this deeeply offending.. shes basically advertising cutting.. shes also "emo". She acts like cutting is a fun hobby. my best friend is friends with her
and told me that she tried cutting right in front of her. She makes me so mad!
i try to just avoid her, but she seems to be around me alot because shes friends with my best friend...
what should i do?

squirrelspit · 24-08-2009, 04:16 AM

have you tried talking to her? telling her that it upsets you.. or ask her why she does it?

Shatterproof · 24-08-2009, 04:22 AM

I can understand your frustration, this kind of thing really gets to me...glamorising self-harm...its just not right. Anyway I agree with Charlie, maybe you should just talk to this girl and let her know how you feel.

squirrelspit · 24-08-2009, 04:24 AM

*high five* on using my name and not calling me squirrel.. appreciate it!

MaddieLyn · 24-08-2009, 04:34 AM

i did talk to her.. she said she posted it because she doesnt care. that people critisize her so much about everything she does that she just doesnt wanna hide it... so i didnt want to say that it offends me becuz i didnt want to trigger her and i dont know her very well so i didnt want to tell her that i SI.
but i asked her when and how much she does it and she said she does it whenever she gets really sad and about five to ten times on her wrists. so shes not really serous, and she wears short sleeves alot and i cant see any scars. i want to help her before she gets addicted like me. but i doubt she would listen help me. :[

squirrelspit · 24-08-2009, 04:47 AM

You cant help someone that doesnt want to be helped.. all you can do is be honest, and be there if they want you to be, but ultimately, she needs to make her own decisions.

Casper_Fading · 24-08-2009, 08:54 AM

It doesn't matter if she's "not really serious" it's still a problem. If you're having a trouble with her posting on facebook, delete her. If you think it's going to cause trouble, tell a teacher or someone.

Random88 · 24-08-2009, 12:31 PM

The only thing you can do is leave her to it, if she doesn't want help then theres not alot you can do. apart from tell a teacher or school counselor if you think it is needed. Also if you don't want to tell her you SI maybe you could say that you knew someone who did it and that it makes you a little uncomfortable that she is glamourising her SI since you know how quickly people can get trapped by it?

Katiee · 24-08-2009, 04:46 PM

I can understand why this makes you feel like that.
Could you talk to the girl?

MaddieLyn · 25-08-2009, 02:05 AM

jklda;sfjl;al;dfjd;aj... idk what to do.. i cant sit back and watch as she falls into SI. but i cant tell a counselor because that would be hypocritical.. this girl SI. and im worried about her...... but i do it too???

88shelz · 25-08-2009, 03:49 PM

perhaps you could both go to the school counsellor together.
it means there is no hypocrosy and you both get some help

dont forget though that this girl is not your responsibility. all you can do is talk to her and try to offer support. its her choice from there

look after yourself first x

Queen Crabbit · 25-08-2009, 03:56 PM

She needs to grow up and get a life.

Delete her off facebook. You can't help someone that doesn't want to get help.

iliketea416 · 25-08-2009, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaddieLyn

i did talk to her.. she said she posted it because she doesnt care. that people critisize her so much about everything she does that she just doesnt wanna hide it... so i didnt want to say that it offends me becuz i didnt want to trigger her and i dont know her very well so i didnt want to tell her that i SI.
but i asked her when and how much she does it and she said she does it whenever she gets really sad and about five to ten times on her wrists. so shes not really serous, and she wears short sleeves alot and i cant see any scars. i want to help her before she gets addicted like me. but i doubt she would listen help me. :[

Wow... that's a bit harsh don't you think? I would have thought that self harmers would have more respect for other self harmers... we get enough crap from the rest of the world...

Ok, so I don't agree with her actions and I'm sorry you find them triggering. I think there are a lot of us on here that would. But don't you think that she still might have a problem? There might be things going on under the surface that you know nothing about. Self harm is still self harm, depth, frequency etc are irrelivant. Do you really believe that someone who only cuts once a month is struggling less than someone that cuts every day?

It's an interesting issue, about those who display and glamorise self harm. While I find it difficult to deal with personally, it just makes me wonder why. I believe if someone can do that, even if it IS just for attention, that something, somewhere along the line, is very badly wrong and they need and deserve help just like the rest of us.

It's not about "growing up" Queen Crabbit. But I do agree that deleting her from facebook might be a good idea if it's bothering you. If she doesn't want to help helped at the moment than that's ok, but do look after yourself too. If you don't like the photo's, ensure that you can't see them.

Gone. · 25-08-2009, 04:18 PM

Like others have said, she is not your responsibility and you cannot force her to get help. You should just let her know that you will be there to support her whenever she feels she needs a little help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrysalis

Ok, so I don't agree with her actions and I'm sorry you find them triggering. I think there are a lot of us on here that would. But don't you think that, no mater how "serious" she is, that she still might have a problem? There might be things going on under the surface that you know nothing about. Self harm is still self harm, depth, frequency are irrelivant. Do you really believe that someone who only cuts once a month is struggling less than someone that cuts every day?

I agree with this.
Are you saying she isnt serious or is she?

And yes, it would be hypocritical but I kind of did it for my friend who was selfharming, I went to a teacher for help about her. That makes me a massive hypocrite but I dont really care, I wanted her to get help... if that makes sense. But dont put too much weight on your shoulders.

Take care xx

iliketea416 · 25-08-2009, 04:28 PM

Sorry, I was saying that she is serious. Anyone who cuts themselves is serious. I have just adjusted my phrasing a bit; hope it's more clear!

Gone. · 25-08-2009, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaddieLyn

but i asked her when and how much she does it and she said she does it whenever she gets really sad and about five to ten times on her wrists. so shes not really serous, and she wears short sleeves alot and i cant see any scars.

I meant this quote, in this quote are you saying she isnt serious or has the girl said she isnt serious?

TinkerDebs · 25-08-2009, 11:33 PM

not sure what to say really
but im sure we all know someone like this
and as much as it is frustrating and triggering to see
we ay never know the extent to what they are really feeling
i mean to cut yourself means there must be sometihng wrong
even if its just cutting for attentoin - sometihng is obviously wrong to feel the need to have to do that to be noticed
you know
i've rambled too much