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Old 10-09-2016, 02:50 AM   #1
postoffice
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
I am currently:
Dirt Enough

It's a big deal!
Some might say a "steal"
but it's stale
and full of knots

For it's not real
so I wont feel
this frail
type of rot

I'm an old lie
sat in many times
that I whispered
truly black

It's a dark sky
asking who am I
but for them
you can't go back

Following shades
where the whisper folk stay
Shadows can be
so cruel

Spoil my days
Lay me out in ways
I've broken
all my own rules

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Old 10-10-2016, 02:23 PM   #2
Sooty
Sophie
 
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: East Sussex
I am currently:

I love the flow of this. You've used rhymes inside of rhymes and using knot / not and steal / stale. I love it. The first two stanzas are my favourite. Really powerful.

Sophie.x



Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!

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