I've been lurking on ryl and vets for a while. I very rarely comment, but would really like to be part of the community. I'm losing all my friends/support. I don't feel like I have much to offer lately, but will try to help when I can.
Ninjapenguin - I think a land of bacon and chocolate would solve the world's problems and there would be no need for RYL at all.
True statement. I'd be one happy girl if there was a land of bacon and chocolate... So long as it wasn't the land of chocolate covered bacon. That's just... ew.
"Life is easy to chronicle, but bewildering to practice."-- E.M. Forster
i think what rachiewoo was getting at is that the same people cannot just give infinite support, they need a break, they need support themselves, if you don't protect your resources they run out. let's make vets a greener place to live, no sugar coated 'rubbish' left lying about, recycle our hugs, put back into the support network what you like to receive, if and when you can and then vets will keep going and won't be a huyge flood of tears and melted chocolate with jelly polar bears floating about in 20 years time.
:D
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
i think what rachiewoo was getting at is that the same people cannot just give infinite support, they need a break, they need support themselves, if you don't protect your resources they run out. let's make vets a greener place to live, no sugar coated 'rubbish' left lying about, recycle our hugs, put back into the support network what you like to receive, if and when you can and then vets will keep going and won't be a huyge flood of tears and melted chocolate with jelly polar bears floating about in 20 years time.
:D
Yes, I know what was meant, and on the whole I agree with it. However, for me (and this is purely a personal response and I am probably the only one to think it), it just seems like an 'us' and 'them' situation.
I'm in a really ****ed off, depressed mood so this reply isn't likely to be what I normally would say when I have rational sense!! But seeing as this vets place apparently doesn't want sugar coated replies here goes....
I agree with both Sefka and TheOneWho...these whole 'passing down the torch from the oldies to the newbies' threads that are starting to crop up in vets are pretty damn patronising! It is getting to the point where I'm thinking of using the ignore tab just so I don't feel so triggered every time I come online to RYL.
I understand the well-meaning intention behind these threads, but if the motivation is to rejuvinate the Vets section through newbies then I feel reading the replies from newbies it does not have the positive outcome it wishes to achieve!
There is nowhere else on this forum where I feel a bigger divide between oldies and newbies than on this sub-forum. I have to admit that I don't always reply to a thread that seems to be picking up on a continuous conversation and talking about other people because in order to give a good reply I'll have to ask a thousand questions first (e.g. who is so and so?). And no, I don't get all the jokes that are banded around as they're not overly my cup of tea and personally I come to this site for support, and although I get the need for a bit of light-heartedness, I'm too tired to joke around most of the time so I generally ignore threads that lead onto this kind of banter.
Personally, if the wish is to encourage newbies to post more, I would recommend all those that took the time to reply to this thread with one sentence jokes to take the time to reply to newer members of Vets threads so that they felt included and more able to reply to other threads.
Lastly I have to agree once more with Selfka, I think it is important for people to attempt to view these threads as it would read to a newcomer. It is incrediably threatening. I don't know what you oldies did 'back in the day' but this is what us newies are saying right now and I think it is damn important that you hear us. I'm not responsible for how this subforum feels to older members who remember the 'good old days', and quite frankly I don't really care to be told how much better it used to be and how burnt out you all are now! I'm completely exhausted myself, I don't expect someone to reply with all the answers or even with a kick-up the backside...all I really want is for someone, just one damn person in this god-forsaken world to give a damn that I am in pain. I am really grateful to those that do reply to my threads, it has helped make some dark hours easier.
I apologies in advance if I was rude in this reply. I don't mean this to seem as a personal attack as I know we're all fighting demons and perhaps these threads are simply expressions of needs for comfort, familiarity and safety. I understand that, but I felt I needed to speak up and explain how this can make me (as a newbie) feel sometimes.
To be honest your post kind of comes off as an attack rather than a constructive criticism. At the end of the day Rachel posted this with the best intentions and I am not an 'oldie' but I do happen to agree with her. If people feel Vets needs a boost and to be rejuvinated then maybe instead of criticising other people's attempts at doing that then people could suggest their own?
I have never found Vets to be divided. I do agree that many people on here have known each other a long time and sometimes that can be difficult but nobody is ignored, look at the support threads....a mixture of old and new people posting and both get given support, despite the fact that at the end of the day it does seem to mainly be the same few members replying to those posts. Maybe not all the time but mostly.
Also you mentioned older members taking the time to reply to more recently joined members. I think they do! But also people need to remember that it is often a lot more simple to give advice to people when you know their situation a little better, either because they have been a member longer or they post more often or offer more information in their support threads. I don't think this is the 'older' members fault and to be honest in the same way you seem to feel 'newbies' are being targeted, I feel the 'longer term' members are. I don't count myself as a member of either camp.
All I do know is that I have recieved a lot of helpful support and advice on this forum, and most of that has come from Vets, from people I don't know and from people I do. Give it time....post, reply to other people's posts, both in 'support' and in 'general'. There are at least two or three people in here who I now consider myself to care a lot about and think of as friends. Why? Because at the end of the day 'Vets' is not the 'big bad scary' wolf that people like to make it out to be. We are not children. Everybody started out as a 'newbie' at some point and remembers that feeling.
It is not just up to the longer members to make this sub section work...it is for everybody. Nobody is ignored and everyone's views are accepted, even when they are disagreed with.
Rach- I still believe this is a nice idea.
Last edited by Pomegranate : 30-11-2010 at 07:44 AM.
i honestly didnt think i would get negative feedback from this. i didnt mean to offend anyone. i know when i was new, i was scared and i lurked ALOT before i posted. i have no problem at all with anyone doing that. i thought that by reading this post, it would show the newer members that they are welcome here and we appreciate their participation. and also, ALL of us, new and old could get to know each other better.
and ya know what? and i apologize in advance for this, but this IS vets and if you want straight answers, here is one....
if Vets is known for its "scariness", why is it that you feel comfortable posting on this thread? you could easily make a thread of your own asking for support or supporting others who need it.
I think i just feel that in order to get something out of vets you do need to try and participate in what you can and build up a bit of rapport with the others on here. Which I think is what Rachel is on about.
And yes some people know each other well and it's harder for new people but that's life, some people always know each other and some people are always new. You are always going to be in one of those groups whereever you go in life.
I do get the feeling that the old vets is..... wilting. And it would be nice to keep it going because we all need it so much. If it seems scary it's up to you to break through that wall so that you can start to get something out of vets.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
Candy Tetris
Mahjong
Othello
Mumu
