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Unable to move forward
In all honesty, I haven't really thought through exactly what I'm going to say, I've just been aware that I've probably needed to ask for help/advice for a while now.
I don't have the energy right now to type out everything that's led to this point, but I've basically spent the past year in a cycle of "we can only offer short term counselling, but your issues are too severe... but here have short term counselling" which, at this point has done more harm than good, I think, and actually reinforced my "chronically okay" mindset. I'm lucky that my GP surgery has a very good mental health specialist who wants to refer me to all sorts of places, because these are admittedly things I need help with, but we suspect that most places aren't going to accept the referrals because I've done such a good job of seeming okay that, at this point, I almost need a really obvious (and I guess sustained) crisis to be taken seriously.
I don't really know how I'm supposed to move forward when I really am trying my best to get better in between my "I'm fine" moments, because I can see that I can't do it by myself, and I'm lucky enough to have someone who can see I do need help, it's just getting any sort of help is impossible.
Sorry if absolutely none of that has made any sense!
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