Not knowing

[one_step_closer]

It's ok, you're being honest. Would anything make it easier to talk to her?

[tamobhuuta]

It was a different person. I think I was meant to recognise him because he didn't introduce himself.

They have a week to find me a bed.

If it's someone I trust, maybe I could read/show them an important bit from my diary? Is that acceptable?

[tamobhuuta]

I didn't manage to tell them anything. They asked me about my mood and said I'm still on the list for a bed. Said to call them if I'm unsafe.

[one_step_closer]

How do you feel about that? I think it would be ok to show someone you trust parts of your diary, maybe you could write them on a piece of paper so they just see those bits.

[tamobhuuta]

I feel like a fraud. I should be able to express myself

[one_step_closer]

That's not being a fraud. It's difficult to express things sometimes and it also depends on who is there to talk to. Writing has been an easier way for you to express things in the past, can you try having something prepared for the next visit and just hand it over?

[tamobhuuta]

I couldn't be bothered to write it out (although it's not much) so I photocopied it!

[long road]

Good idea about photocopying it Tamo. I hope you can manage to show it to the next people you see

[one_step_closer]

That is a good idea, well done. Are you seeing someone today?

[tamobhuuta]

I held the stuff I'd written but didn't manage to read it out or hand it over, even though I know Z quite well. But today I'm not so sure about my Evilness.

[tamobhuuta]

Is it OK to meet my CPN while I'm under the Crisis Team?

[Elmer]

I'd imagine that would be for the crisis team and your CPN to decide between themselves.

How are you doing? I know this probably won't help in any way, but I don't think you're evil, I think you have a good, kind heart.

[long road]

You could always ask your CPN? I imagine they would know. And I imagine it would be good to talk with someone who knows you well.

[Pomegranate]

There is no hard and fast rule about this. Usually you only see the crisis team but I have seen patients when they’ve been under crisis team and in the past I have been seen by MY CPN when under them. I also have colleagues though who say there is no need if crisis are involved. I think it’s worth texting your CPN and saying you’d like to see them and why it would be helpful :)

[tamobhuuta]

Thanks guys. I will try to communicate with the Crisis Team today and if I can't, tomorrow I will ask to see my CPN.

[long road]

Sounds like a sound plan Tamo. I hope you can manage to hand over your note and then use that to help you start a conversation where what you feel the need to say gets said. And if not you have contacting CPN as a back up.

When are crisis team meant to turn up today?

[tamobhuuta]

Between 11 and 3, I think

[tamobhuuta]

L from the Crisis Team came. He wasn't helpful but I did give him my notes, which he read. He didn't seem to react at all...

[long road]

I am sorry that he was unhelpful and that when you gave him your notes but he didn't seem to react. What kind of reaction / response were you hoping for?

I know how hard hand your note over was so well done for doing so. Do you feel able to follow plan and contact CPN tomorrow as you didn't get what you needed from crisis team?

[tamobhuuta]

To be fair to him, I'm not sure what I wanted. Maybe an acknowledgement that what I wrote was serious? I'm not sure I need to bother my CPN, maybe showing someone was enough? But I will see how I feel later.