Accepting relapse?

[BeddieC]

I don't know if relapse is the right word my brain isn't working right

But, I've been stable for a while. Not self harmed for 6 mo this, voices minimal. But the warning signs have been arou d for a while and I just put it down to stress at home, stress at work etc and i figured things would calm down. I don't want to accept that I'm getting ill again. I start a new job in 2 weeks. My friends need me to be the one that has their shit together. So do my family.

But I really do t. I'm not sleeping, I'm binging/restricting. I'm currently smoking despite having a nicotine test on Tuesday (it was this or lose my shit and then go home and drink myself to sleep)

I don't know what to do. I guess just, how do you accept that symptoms come back? I know all the coping stuff and who to call etc but I don't, I never really have.

Any advice welcome :/

[one_step_closer]

I'm sorry things are hard for you right now. It sounds like you are accepting that symptoms come back, you have here, but accepting it and dealing with it are different things. Especially when you have been well for so long and have things to be getting on with. Even if you just put the symptoms down to stress, it's a good idea and very much ok to reach out for support to hopefully prevent things from getting worse. I know it can be hard to reach out, what in particular stops you? Is there anyone you trust who you could have an initial conversation with and maybe they could support you to talk to your GP or someone? I hope you can figure out something that suits you and things get better soon.