I don't know. But is there also a reason why you answer every response with a question rather than a legitimate answer?
I'm glad that as this thread has progressed. It seems as though people have managed to draw out ways to engage with you and found ways to communicate with you that you deem as supportive. It has taken me nearly 14 years to come to terms with my ED and I am only now seeking help. I'm sure that when the time comes, when you are ready, and when the right options are available to you; you will accept recovery.
I've been trying so hard to recover but I have found it impossible so far because of my emotionally abusive s***ty real life "family"
Quote:
Originally Posted by missmatador
Although I'm unsure about the nature and success of psychologists and psychology experts, I am aware that some people do not respond to or are opposed to psychiatric care and that is their choice. And like most choices, they are gospel to the individual.
For example: I, personally, am pro-choice but I have no inclination to throw my teddy out the pram should I come across an individual whom is anti-abortion. Peoples choices are theirs alone and I'm sure you will make the right choices for yourself.
I'm honestly trying my best to recover by myself. I hope that if I do become involved with the mh services, I will be able to get rid of them when I go to uni (which isn't covered by the same health care area)
Quote:
Originally Posted by missmatador
I agree that, sometimes, the only way to fix an emotionally abusive environment is to remove yourself from one. I know it is difficult to do so because one always seeks the satisfaction of "fixing" what is broken. I had to learn to walk away from my home life and allow it to fix itself. Being there only engouraged people to off-load their issues onto me.
I can't get away from this abusive household yet. I have no money and nowhere to go. Nobody would want me to stay with them, and nobody would ever believe me that these idiots I live with are abusive
Quote:
Originally Posted by missmatador
It didn't fix my depression or anxiety or, of course, my ED. But it definitely gave my head a little extra room and took away some focus of blame that my family had put onto me. I still love them dearly; though that have said and done some terrible things but space gives one time to heal and grow.
If I can get away I hope I can recover from the ed etc. I don't know if I do love them, they have caused me too much trauma
Quote:
Originally Posted by missmatador
I hope you find your relief somewhere and somehow. You are deserving of a good life as much as anyone else.
I hope the same for you
I am here for you if you ever want to talk
nobody would ever believe me that these idiots I live with are abusive
Have you thought about why that is? As in, in a court of law, if 12 people didn't believe that they are abusive then they wouldn't be classified as abusive. What is it that makes YOU think that they are abusive but that makes you think that OTHERS wouldn't think they are? I'm not ganging up on you, I just think it would be a good thing to think about, and telling us would help us understand the situation better.
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
Have you thought about why that is? As in, in a court of law, if 12 people didn't believe that they are abusive then they wouldn't be classified as abusive. What is it that makes YOU think that they are abusive but that makes you think that OTHERS wouldn't think they are? I'm not ganging up on you, I just think it would be a good thing to think about, and telling us would help us understand the situation better.
you can move out and you will be able to afford it. have you looked into temporary hostel accomodation? they can help you set up benefits for you to be able to have some money to live off before you go to uni.
also have you looked into moving into uni before the accademic year starts? i know quite a lot of people who have done that.
Just when the caterpillar thought she was dying she turned into a beautiful butterfly
Just because they act nice around other people don't necessarily mean they wouldn't believe you. If you said "on x occasion they did x, and on y occasion y" and it was considered enough to be abuse, then they would believe you. Like if you said "on x date someone murdered y" - even if that person was really nice usually, the violation would still be believed if there was enough evidence of it.
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
I can relate to being 'stuck' in a home situation that can be difficult. It sounds like going to uni will be a positive thing for you. Until then, if you really aren't able to move out, what I find helpful is learning to distance myself emotionally. As someone else said, don't rise to it and argue with them. Perhaps try to spend as much time as possible out of the house.
Considering you're moving in a couple of months that actually isn't really a lot of time for MH services to provide much in the way of help anyway. I was wondering if you would consider trying your university's counselling service when you get there? You'd only have to talk to them about the things you wanted to and in my experience it is quite different from mental health services and the medical side of things.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I was going to suggest EMDR as you don't really need to talk about anything, it's all based on eye movements. You don't have to access it through the NHS either, my dad had it privately and as far as I know he doesn't have a diagnosis of PTSD.
But I think that your view of mental health professionals and therapy is going to severely hinder you. I am doubtful that anyone can recover from an eating disorder solely by themselves with no outside input. I think you are extremely fearful of getting sectioned, you almost think that even speaking to any MH professional immediately puts you in danger of being forced into treatment. Let me tell you that it took A LOT for me to get sectioned. I would even turn up in A&E after severely harming myself, see the psychiatrist and say I was incredibly suicidal and would still get sent home. Sectioning/hospitalisation is the last resort, everything else is tried first to get you in a stable place.
I really think you could benefit from something like CBT which doesn't necessarily keep going over the past, but focuses more on your current thoughts and how to tackle those and be more positive.
ED wise- maybe going back to your GP and asking to see a dietician and getting some fortisips. I know you struggle with trying to increase your calories but no-one is going to recommend an NG tube without exhausting all other options first. As others have said, NG tubes are only given in a hospital setting so you would be an inpatient by that point with a diagnosis of an eating disorder (which you seem to be against having ANY diagnosis). No doctor will fit an NG tube then allow you to go home to self administer the feed. If you can't increase your calories or drink fortisip by yourself then you sure as hell wont be able to give yourself a feed through the tube. You might think you'd be able to, but your ED thoughts would take over. You seem to think that once you're at a higher weight everything would be fine, but most people with anorexia find that even at higher weights their anorexic thinking remains and they need to tackle that with therapy. Just eating more food isn't enough.
If you're really dead set against this upcoming ED assessment then do everyone a favour and cancel rather than waste time and resources by not bothering to turn up, or going and lying. There are plenty of other people desperate to have appointments.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Wow... I'd give anything to get proper help as I've fought for it for years and not gotten anywhere. If you don't want help, you won't get it. Simple. All you seem to be doing is picking fights with people who wish to help... we're all just individuals struggling through our own issues, we're not the professionals. Don't take it out on us.
you can move out and you will be able to afford it. have you looked into temporary hostel accomodation? they can help you set up benefits for you to be able to have some money to live off before you go to uni.
also have you looked into moving into uni before the accademic year starts? i know quite a lot of people who have done that.
Thank you. I will consider both these options as they might work
Just because they act nice around other people don't necessarily mean they wouldn't believe you. If you said "on x occasion they did x, and on y occasion y" and it was considered enough to be abuse, then they would believe you. Like if you said "on x date someone murdered y" - even if that person was really nice usually, the violation would still be believed if there was enough evidence of it.
Whoever said I was going to involve the courts and all that?
I've read most of this thread and I guess I just wanted to advise you of my experience;
I have been taken to hospital (A&E)both by police and ambulance due to suicide attempts. I have told my CPN about plans and the means I have to kill myself and even gone into details about how I will act out my plans. I also have a diagnosis of BPD. However I have never been sectioned or admitted to a psych hospital and I have recently been disharged from CMHT...so not all services are the same. I have been discharged for not attending appointments and not engaging...and they have not chased me, simply sent me a letter to say I am no longer under their services.
I am kind of trying to recover without them too. I'm on anti depressants but I am trying different techniques and activities to recover...and so far it's working.
I think gettig out of home asap would be most helpful to you.
Take care.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
I can relate to being 'stuck' in a home situation that can be difficult. It sounds like going to uni will be a positive thing for you. Until then, if you really aren't able to move out, what I find helpful is learning to distance myself emotionally. As someone else said, don't rise to it and argue with them. Perhaps try to spend as much time as possible out of the house.
I do try my best not to react to them being idiots, but if they're real a**holes to me, really nasty, then I react
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starling.
Considering you're moving in a couple of months that actually isn't really a lot of time for MH services to provide much in the way of help anyway. I was wondering if you would consider trying your university's counselling service when you get there? You'd only have to talk to them about the things you wanted to and in my experience it is quite different from mental health services and the medical side of things.
I know. I don't actually want to be too entangled with them
And I will consider the counselling service, what can I safely tell them, without them passing stuff on to the proper mh services? Or the crisis teams?
I was going to suggest EMDR as you don't really need to talk about anything, it's all based on eye movements. You don't have to access it through the NHS either, my dad had it privately and as far as I know he doesn't have a diagnosis of PTSD.
That is quite a good idea. But when I am away from my family and able to pay for it myself
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherlock holmes
But I think that your view of mental health professionals and therapy is going to severely hinder you. I am doubtful that anyone can recover from an eating disorder solely by themselves with no outside input. I think you are extremely fearful of getting sectioned, you almost think that even speaking to any MH professional immediately puts you in danger of being forced into treatment. Let me tell you that it took A LOT for me to get sectioned. I would even turn up in A&E after severely harming myself, see the psychiatrist and say I was incredibly suicidal and would still get sent home. Sectioning/hospitalisation is the last resort, everything else is tried first to get you in a stable place.
I am still wary of them. The mh professionals are one of very few things that truly scare me. I don't trust medical professionals much, but at least they can tell you definitively what's wrong (ie a broken leg, broken arm, deflated lung etc), but a mh professional is different. How does anyone know that what they're saying is accurate? Really? (Don't give me all the study stuff), because they do get it wrong. And I'm less inclined to trust people with less definitive answers (sorry, but that's just me).
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherlock holmes
I really think you could benefit from something like CBT which doesn't necessarily keep going over the past, but focuses more on your current thoughts and how to tackle those and be more positive.
I may consider the counselling at uni. That's the best I can do
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherlock holmes
ED wise- maybe going back to your GP and asking to see a dietician and getting some fortisips. I know you struggle with trying to increase your calories but no-one is going to recommend an NG tube without exhausting all other options first. As others have said, NG tubes are only given in a hospital setting so you would be an inpatient by that point with a diagnosis of an eating disorder (which you seem to be against having ANY diagnosis). No doctor will fit an NG tube then allow you to go home to self administer the feed. If you can't increase your calories or drink fortisip by yourself then you sure as hell wont be able to give yourself a feed through the tube. You might think you'd be able to, but your ED thoughts would take over. You seem to think that once you're at a higher weight everything would be fine, but most people with anorexia find that even at higher weights their anorexic thinking remains and they need to tackle that with therapy. Just eating more food isn't enough.
I will probably go to the assessment, if it's in the next few months. And there get the fortisips or other shake things. I will still bring up the ng tube though. Maybe the ed unit I go to will be be a bit lax about procedure? Well I can hope. (Don't say no doctor will do that, because there ARE laxes in procedure, they happen all the time)
I AM against any diagnosis
Quote:
Originally Posted by sherlock holmes
If you're really dead set against this upcoming ED assessment then do everyone a favour and cancel rather than waste time and resources by not bothering to turn up, or going and lying. There are plenty of other people desperate to have appointments.
For the last damned time.
I will probably go to the appointment. But I will lie about two things, I'm not going to say I won't, I will lie if I get asked about self-harm (unless they see it, then it'd be impossible to deny, but I will try to hide it), or suicidal ideation, thoughts, plans, urges etc, I will just deny that completely. It is an ed assessment after all, why is it bad to lie about wanting to kill yourself or that you self harm?
I tried again to move the thread away from this. But again got dragged back to this
Can we move on? PLEASE?
Wow... I'd give anything to get proper help as I've fought for it for years and not gotten anywhere. If you don't want help, you won't get it. Simple. All you seem to be doing is picking fights with people who wish to help... we're all just individuals struggling through our own issues, we're not the professionals. Don't take it out on us.
Oh dear. I tried to move the thread on but people on here just can't leave it can they? I am against the professionals and their psychiatry. Get used to it. It isn't going to change. And MOVE ON.
Why are you so intent on coming back to this every time I try to move the thread on?
Oh dear. I tried to move the thread on but people on here just can't leave it can they? I am against the professionals and their psychiatry. Get used to it. It isn't going to change. And MOVE ON.
Why are you so intent on coming back to this every time I try to move the thread on?
That poster has only just joined and obviously hasnt seen all your other threads or know much about you and your intense hatred of psychiatry.
Maybe back off a little bit, and think about some of the things others have said about not jumping down people's throats everytime someone says something you disagree with.
I've read most of this thread and I guess I just wanted to advise you of my experience;
I have been taken to hospital (A&E)both by police and ambulance due to suicide attempts. I have told my CPN about plans and the means I have to kill myself and even gone into details about how I will act out my plans. I also have a diagnosis of BPD. However I have never been sectioned or admitted to a psych hospital and I have recently been disharged from CMHT...so not all services are the same. I have been discharged for not attending appointments and not engaging...and they have not chased me, simply sent me a letter to say I am no longer under their services.
I am kind of trying to recover without them too. I'm on anti depressants but I am trying different techniques and activities to recover...and so far it's working.
I think gettig out of home asap would be most helpful to you.
Take care.
x x x
Thank you for this. I agree. Getting out of this hellish place would probably make things a lot easier for me. Perhaps then I would actually stand a chance of recovering by myself, and then I wouldn't even need the mh services or support. I may still go to the counselling service though, depending on what is safe to tell them
It's perfectly okay to have a discussion with them about confidentiality before you start talking. They'll be able to tell you the kind of things they would need to pass on.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I just think it's bad to lie about any aspect of your mental health as you may regret it in the long run. When I was younger I lied about how I was feeling and it meant I didn't get the right support when I needed it.
Now I am trying to get help and it's a lot harder.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
