How can people be so annoying, selfish and fucking retarded? You just irritate the shit out of me and if you carry on I'll HAVE to slap you hard across the face. ¬_¬
I am sorry for lying to you about eating dinner and I am sorry for throwing the food away in secret and I am sorry for hurting myself. I am sorry I can't say anything to you and I am so sorry I can't find it in me to seek out help because I am afraid. I am sorry for not being the person I always promised to be.
“I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep.
And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare,
like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved.
I woke up into a nightmare.”
― Ned Vizzini
I'm sorry I'm such a worthless and pathetic piece of shite.
I'll be punished. I'll get what I deserve.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I need you to pay attention to me right now. I know you have a lot going on. I know you're stressed out. I know you're just doing what you have to do. But for the last 7 years I've had to hide my emotions from you because I never want to bother you for all that you guys are dealing with. I know you say I can come to you with anything, but it doesn't feel like it because it can never be about me, even if you want it to. And I don't want you to feel guilty about it, either, because there's nothing you can do to change it. This is just how it is. I feel like I've always had to be the care-taker, no one has ever taken care of ME, and that hurts and I feel like it has messed me up a little bit more than I care to admit.
and also, I'm scared. I'm scared of what's going to happen to you and what this illness is going to do to you. but that's not something I will ever talk about.
~ Megan
"Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger."
Your arrogance appalls me. Seriously? How can you say that? We were the ones doing all the work, while you sat back and chatted about who-knows-what. Get over yourself. I hate the demeaning way you talk to everyone, and act like you're so superior.
But I will give you credit for actually working, and getting a lot of it done.
And, oh- you remind me of my mother. Not a good thing :)
---
You do realize that you should just give up... right? You know what I think about that. But you should also realize that I'm never going to be satisfied with myself, and it'll just go in the same cycle over and over again.
Thank you for not asking yet, though, I guess. But I really do think you should just move on and realize what a lost cause I am. 'Cause I really don't see any change coming.
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
I just want you to see how much this hurts. Why aren't you there for me?
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
You know what I think about that. But you should also realize that I'm never going to be satisfied with myself, and it'll just go in the same cycle over and over again.
