I really am trying so fucking hard. Please, please don't think I'm not.
>.<
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
Pathetic, horrible, useless, selfish piece of shit, Marie.
Shut the fuck up.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I'm so scared to rant on here, to post for support, to post at all... after everything that's gone on here, I don't know why I'm back.
I miss it here. I miss a lot here. I miss a lot everywhere.
Oh well.
Should I rant or should I post?
Should I do neither?
Both?
You don't deserve support though, or hugs from your rants, S.
You deserve fuck all.
I know, I'm aware, and many people have made it clear what they think and feel about me. It's cool.
Still trying to be brave here. Yup. I suck at it but yeah.
I'm so fucking done in.
I feel all dopey/dizzy/blurred/weird as well.
Please sleep tonight. Please.
PLEASE...
Y - I love you. :/
I'm sorry, there is so much I want to say to you, but... I dunno.
Gah, whatever.
I've missed you & still do miss you oddly enough, and god I just want everything erased and to go back to how we & it used to be.
Impossible, I'm aware, but that's how I feel.
Among other things.
I'm so wonderfully glad we are talking & friends again... really, I'm relieved, happy...
It's just, bleh, I don't know... there's so much inside and I don't know what to do or what to say or how to or all these questions! fuck sake.
I cant handle it. Its driving me mad, especially because you arent even freaking talking to me anymore. I thought you cared, but obviously you dont and neither does anyone else. I'd be better off if I just didnt even bother to talk to anyone or have "friends" anymore. All you or anyone else has ever done for me is lie to me, stab me in the back, and then leave me feeling like a vunerable mess... So, I'm done with situations like these.
"Wish that I could cry,
Fall apon my knees,
Find a way to lie,
About the home I'll never see"
Superman by Five For Fighting
I just walked out your life and you seem to not give a shit. Says alot about what I meant to you. So you did only use me. Don't worry I'm out now. Iv stopped caring
Mom, I've always been so close to you, but recently, when you talked to Nan a few months ago I felt a huge wedge come between us. Then when me and R spent a week with you it seemed okay. But now you have Nan's dogs and you are in contact with her, and I just can't do it. I can't be in contact with you while you're talking to her. Why isn't the fostering scheme available, you want to know why? She has no reason to contact you, that's why.
She thinks I'm a whore, she thinks I led her Husband on, I feel so fucking small. Worthless, Nothing. I feel like a cheap fuck.
I miss you Mom, I hate this, I can't do this, I wish I hated you because it would make things so much easier. I love you Mom, please don't have Nan in your life please? It's futile, I know I've already lost you, I love you Mom, I always have and always will xox