Why can't you see through my lies? I RAN OFF IN 5 DEGREE WEATHER IN A CARDIGAN. What part of that says 'I'm fine' to you? Even the Dr was more concerned than you. I need you to care. Please care.
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
I think I'm drowning
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
I'm not sure you realise just what you do to me. I could lie awake at night for hours just wondering of you're okay. I know you're struggling and I know you're not safe, and it's killing me because I can't help you. There's so many things I could say to you but, right now, I'm not sure they'd have any effect. We've spoken everyday for the last 5 months and I don't know where or what I'd be without you. You've managed to keep me alive. Without I'd be nothing but with you, I'm something. Please see that I love you more that I ever thought I could.. To lose you now would kill me. Don't ever leave me.
But now you hate me. And I still love you, and miss you more than anything. I cut every day. It's all I know to do now. And each time, I feel it less and less.
One day soon, I won't feel it at all.
And the blade will go too deep..
mmm. I wonder if this feeling of numbness and emptiness is to replace the hurt, anger, sadness, loneliness, desperation and guilt that have all just vanished overnight...
I wonder which is worse...
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
At least now you can't say I never asked for help. You just never understood that was what I was doing.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
What are You doing to me? What are You doing?
Why are You still here?
Eight years of this... what else can You learn? What other torture is there to go through?
Pick on someone else.
I cant express the hurt and stress in me after all this way, all my family fell out, i havnt felt the stress i feel in meh. if i self harm then i forgive myself this time. one year free or not, who cares how long, its meanless really. like what do i do with this stress. its like a block in me.
Laughter is a direct route to the soul. It broadens your perspective, keeps you healthy, and makes an unbearable situation alot easier to deal with.
I hate how lately I'll walk into a room and just feel the tension between you two. You're so stressed lately, something's going to break soon be it you or me. It's almost all because of "him" but no one dares to openly place the blame. Whatever it is that happens, its not going to be good unless something changes SOON.
"Some people get by, with a little understanding. Some people get by, with a whole lot more."
Set Fire To The Third Bar comes on the radio, and suddenly I'm back in my kitchen with you. You've got your phone playing music. We're up way too early for how late we stayed up. We're getting ready to go to Fossil Rim Wildlife park. We're eating muffins - but I don't care about how many calories they are. You smile at me and sing a line. I sing the next one. You pull me into a hug.
B- I hate everything about you. I hate what you did, I hate what you said, I hate what you took away. I have to pick up the goddamn pieces because you tore and shattered and destroyed everything when you left. Get the F**K out of my head.
W - You are such a sweet and kind person, but you are so useless. I feel like sh*t after a session with you. I need you to help me. I need you to push me, to actually get me to look at the sh*t I've been running away from. Instead you sit there and chat with me about the weather and say 'that's really interesting'. Thanks for making me feel like my problems aren't serious and that I should just suck it up and get through life like every other person who isn't a whiny brat.
M - It's my f**king life. This is the one thing I have ever wanted in my life and I can't have it. And now I am killing myself to live the life you planned out for me.
And I am going to keep going until I can't. Until I fall apart. Because I'm tired of fighting for myself. I'm tired of holding myself together and being a one-man army. Because life is just too f**king difficult and I want to give up. So I'm putting my hands up and saying: go ahead, I just don't give a sh*t anymore.
So complicated,
Filled with so much hatred, Such a tired game
It's enough, I've done all I could think of, Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than f*cking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're f*cking perfect to me <3
I'm completely out of my element yet you're still worth all of the discomfort. I love you, but I don't know what else I can do. I need you to reciprocate. Please save me.
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
