Somedays i sit, staring out the window. Watching this world pass me by. Sometimes i think, there's nothin to live for, i almost break down and cry. Sometimes i think im crazy, im crazy oh so crazy, why i am here am i just wastin my time? But then i see my baby, suddenly im not crazy. It all makes sense when i look into her eyes
Sometimes it feels like the worlds on my shoulder, everyones leanin' on me.
Sometimes it feels like the worlds almost over, but then she comes back to me.
My baby girl, keeps getting older, i watch her grow up with pride. People make jokes, cause they dont understand me, they just dont see my real side. I act like **** dont phase me, inside it drives my crazy, my insecurities could eat my alive. But then i see my baby, suddenly im not crazy. It all makes sense when i look into her eyes
Man if i could sing i'd keep singin' this song to my daughter
If i could hit the notes i'd blow something as long as my father to show her how i feel about her, how proud i am that got her
god im a daddy im so glad that her mom didnt abort her
Now you'd probely get this picture from my public persona,
that im a pistol-packing drug addict that bags on his mama, but i wanna take this time to be perfectly honest, cause there's alot of **** that i keep bottled that hurts deep inside of my soul and just know that i grow colder the older i grow, this boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and harder to hold and this load is like the weight of the world, and i think my neck is breaking should i just give up, or try to live up to these expectations now look, i love my daughter more than life in it self
but i got a wife thats determined to make my life living hell
But i handle it well, givin the circumstances im delt, so many chances
man its to bad i could of had someone else, but the years that i've wasted is nothing to the tears that i've tasted, so here's what im facing:
three fellonies, six years of probation, i've went to jail for this woman
i've been to bat for this woman, i've taken bats to peoples backs, bent over backwards for this woman
Man i should've seen it coming, why'd i stick my penis up it,
wouldn't have ripped the prenup up if i'd seen what she was ****ing, but **** it, its over ther's no more reason to cry no more i got my baby, baby the only lady that i adore (hailie)
so sayonara, try tomorrow nice to know you
my baby has travelled back to the arms of her rightful owner and suddenly it seems like my shoulder blades have just shifted its like the greatest gift you can get, the weight has been lifted And now it dont feel like the world's on my shoulder, everyone's leanin' on me
Cause my baby knows that her daddies a soldier, nothing can take her from me.
Remember when I said if you ever need anything daddy would be right there
Well guess what?
Daddy's here And I ain't going nowhere baby I love you
I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried But i'm still caged inside Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become Help me believe it's not the real me Somebody help me tame this animal (This animal, this animal)
I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times i've lied
(So many times i've lied)
But there's still rage inside Somebody get me through this nightmare I can't control myself
So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become Help me believe it's not the real me Somebody help me tame this animal I have become Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
Somebody help me through this nightmare I can't control myself Somebody wake me from this nightmare I can't escape this hell
(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)
So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become Help me believe it's not the real me Somebody help me tame this animal I have become Help me believe it's not the real me Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
**** It All! **** This World!
**** Everything That You Stand For!
Don't Belong! Don't Exist!
Don't Give Me A ****!
Don't Ever Judge Me
I love Alcohol Induced Altruism(Laura) I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence - Doug McLeod Those who believe in absurdities will commit atrocities - Voltaire
BETRAYED!
My plans award me,
IT'S NEVER UP TO ME!
I know that I'll break,
HOW FAR KID?!
Coz from here it looks like a long way down, I can't climb back up
Ain't had a job in about a year.
Living down in my parents basement. I wish that I could get outta here Sometimes I think I need a vacation
Can't get my mother off my back. She don't have far to go to drive me crazy. Someday the bitch is gonna make me crack! Might be the last time she calls me lazy!
I'm a let down!
Pardon me! If I'm a let down
To my family!
I'm a let down!
1-2-3 I'm a let down! Are you like me?
And now my sister's got a fancy car.
I got a piece of **** from 1980.
But, at least, I got my two guitars And a one-way ticket to nowhere baby
I'm a let down!
Pardon me! If I'm a let down
To my family!
I'm a let down!
1-2-3 I'm a let down!
Are you like me?
Oh! No! No! Now, I've got a dream.
They don't understand, It won't be long.
I'm not what I seem.
See I've got a plan..
THATS RIGHT!
I'm a let down!
Pardon me! If I'm a let down
To my family!
I'm a let down!
1-2-3 I'm a let down! Are you like me?
Sometime, they act like I don't exist.
Or else they treat me like I'm still eleven.
Heaven knows I can't take more of this. I never thought I'd be 27
And a let down
Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Pretending I'm doing well My need is such I pretend too much I'm lonely but no one can tell
Oh yes I'm the great pretender Adrift in a world of my own I play the game but to my real shame You've left me to dream all alone
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
Ooh ooh yes I'm the great pretender Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I'm not (you see)
I'm wearing my heart like a crown Pretending that you're still around
Yeah ooh hoo Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown Pretending that you're Pretending that you're still around
Now come one come all to this tragic affair
Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not
If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see
You can find out firsthand what it's like to be me So gather 'round piggies and kiss this goodbye
I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry
Another contusion, my funeral jag Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag You've got front row seats to the penitence ball When I grow up I want to be nothing at all!
I said yeah, yeah!
I said yeah, yeah!
C'mon C'mon C'mon I said (Save me!) Get me the hell out of here (Save me!) Too young to die and my dear
(You can't!) If you can hear me just walk away and
(Take me!)
Lost myself in an endless goodnight Kept the time by the patterns of the streetlight
Couldn't get it right
I could never get it right
Sadly, this is a wasted conversation
Lost on you, lost on you
This is a test of my patience
Your blue eyes are so cruel
I can't escape all the things we said I'm taking years off my life with the weight of regret
Now there's nothing left
There is nothing left to lose
Shouldn't I feel alive?
I swear that I tried
To be alright
To sleep at night
Shouldn't I feel alive?
The night fades with a breath of sunshine
I'll do my best to adjust to the morning light
I cant keep my place
Feels like I've been awake for days Sadly, you turn away and now I'm faced
With the harsh truth, the harsh truth My cold heart is a place where true love cannot bloom
Shouldn't I feel alive?
I swear that I tried
To be alright
To sleep at night
Shouldn't I feel alive?
There's static on the airwaves I'll try to find the light through all this haze
I can't find the words that I'm trying to say
So try to forget me as I walk away
Shouldn't I feel alive?
I swear that I tried
To be alright
To sleep at night
Shouldn't I feel alive?
I swear that I tried
To be alright
To sleep at night
Shouldn't I feel alive?
See I cannot feel this, not matter how you try and in the real world, there's no goodbyes.
Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
****ing high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again, But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
[message on voicemail:] Hi Justin! This is your mother. It is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya and take care honey. I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so ****ing far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!” Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you
"A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?"
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to Die at any time"
It's the loss of control that shatters the truth... life cuts to pieces till the wounds hold no secrets, makes it all who you are... it's bitter the pill that you swallow to feel
my candle burns at both ends
it will not last the night
but ah my foes
and oh my friends
it gives a lovely light!
we are alive for a moment
one second in the great abyss of time
all the bleeding and all the hate
just one blink of an eye
all the conflict
visits dire pain on human life
are we missing what it is to be alive?
one by one the pieces fall
until our pride defeats us all or we learn to live without it
WAKE UP - to the sound of this time bomb
WAKE UP - to it's deafening song
WAKE UP - cause you don't know what you've got
until it's gone
our innocence is a virtue but our arrogance will only leave us blind,
unattended without anyone to save our idle lives will we find out
that everything we know exists inside
of a fraction of a fraction
It's a quarter past four,
I packed my bags with less things than we hold in conversation,
If that's even possible.
I wish it weren't true,
The fact that I could write this song,
And you can't speak a word... Whoa, it's why...
You're not my baby,
Oh baby, and maybe, I'm crazy, yeah.
I don't want to have to write, oh baby,
Don't want to have to write to you, But you made me, you made me,
Because you never changed.
I think I'll move somewhere inviting, Where my heart's not being lied to,
Cause I'll keep on trying. But you can't change anymore,
So put that smile behind your lack of effort, It's the only thing that shows anyway.
And it's why...
You're not my baby,
Oh baby, and maybe, I'm crazy, yeah.
I don't want to have to write, oh baby,
Don't want to have to write to you,
But you made me, you made me, Because you never changed.
Don't want to have to write, oh baby, Don't want to have to write to you,
But you made me, you made me, You'll never change.
Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so
Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best
You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay
Because I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet But I need it
So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best
And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep Because I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly
So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes
Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable And I can live without you
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best
