I am not gonna lose weight if it keeps coming back to this, sometimes my mind wanders back to when I was purging I know its not a good idea but I long for that control back
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
i keep gaining - it's like i'm giving up all i've been working towards. i don't know what to do. every day it like one solid binge. it has to stop - it has to. i can't go back to the way i was before.
I want to binge so much it ****ing hurts & I'm crying over it. I don't care if I have to finish a summary by tomorrow morning, I don't care if all the takeaways are closed so I'll HAVE to resist the urges. I do care, though, that I had my nose pierced yesterday and I need to stay healthy so it will heal quickly. Please don't do this, Tineke. Please.
RYL FAMILY
Jo (Newlife) is my daughter
Kat (Katnovia) is my sister
I've deleted this person off my bbm, msn and going to delete my tumblr altogether. She keeps triggering me and I know it's not her fault, but I need to look after myself and I wont get where I want to by doing it the really unhealthy way, and just bingeing anyway.
Binged yesterday for the first time in ages. How pointless and expensive.
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
I binged last night. And this morning I told myself I wasn't going to eat anything. but then I did. I'm so stupid. So fat. Next time I'm just going to throw it all up. I'm to lazy to starve or exercise it away, anyways.
I'm doing so well and all the right things (i think) and I'm still so huge, nothing's changing. :(
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
No matter how much I restrict, and no matter how much I exercise, I haven't lost an ounce since I was 17. And it sickens me to my core.
Sidenote: The title of this thread makes me laugh. It's (probably unintentionally) a hilariously tasteless pun on what we're all literally trying to do, if you think about it.
I can't believe how much I've eaten this morning..
I feel so disgusting and I want it out of me. But I'm emetophobic. So I know it's staying.
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( I can't stop. I'm scoffing more Easter egg as I write this.
I hate my body. I absolutely hate it.
I need to lose weight. I put on x stone and I'm disgusted.
I want to cry everytime I see my horrible reflection..
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
ive put on nearly all th weight i lost when everyone said i looked soo good.. so last night i took the laxatives even though it was serverly painful but lost x pounds yeh that might b water weight but its giving me the kick start i need to do it again...
I feel like I'm just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger. I feel so out of control. I know what foods I shouldn't eat, but I do it anyway to a disgusting extent, I just keep binging and I just don't seem to care any more, but then I feel really horrible afterwards. I need to do something about this.
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