it seems as though lately everyone is always angry with me and i cant handle it inside all the time.
and i cant just stop, and dont think for a secons that it is because you aren't important because you are the most important person right now. I just cant drop it right now all at once. it isnt your job to fix me, but your support means everything to me. <3
Sophie at least email me, please I can't do this on my own.
Zarina, I hope you're having a good time in France. I wish I were there with you. Rory and Peter are coming today, and I'm scared that they'll find out I've relapsed and tell Mum. Bella is coming too, Bella from out of school. I hope you don't mind that I told her as well, it just makes me feel safer to talk to people. Please be okay. I'm sorry that I messed up, it's just all getting too much.
'Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay.
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away.'
Ra ra I can't stop. I don't know how long it'll be before someone finds out, aka mum. But this is my only way to live, without it, I don't know what I would do, so I'm just so confused, sometimes I wish I could disappear...
But I wouldn't want to hurt you...
'Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay.
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away.'
i thought a walk would make me feel better today, but it was like i was a ghost. people walked past knockin into me, cutting me off n all i could do was just look forward staring down a long warped tube that i was walking through, just feeling nothing, feeling the world rush past me.
sat on my bed just staring, not able to think or feel, n before i knew it itd been 3 hours.
i cant even feel myself breathing anymore.
its like my souls already gone, just gotta get rid of the physical me now
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
I'm not coming back from this again. The drive and passion is gone. I don't belong here. No one will miss me.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
I can't feel anything Zarina, please understand. You and Ellie are away. I don't think I'll be able to get through the day... It's just so frustrating when I can't breathe. When you're not there I cut badly... I need you. You aren't far. France. You said you weren't going this holiday, you lied. Ellie and I are worried about you anyway, you haven't been yourself since the summer. Don't try to hide it, I can see it. I know it's all my fault because Summer was when I started. I ruin everything. I can't help it I'm sorry for hurting you. it's helping me, don't be sad. It's keeping me alive, remember that.
'Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay.
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away.'
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
If I'm the one you're meant to be with, if I'm the one you wanted to make so happy, then why do they get you when I was meant to ? When I needed you more than they did, why couldn't I have you ? I knew you couldn't be here. I'm not selfish. I won't let you have to choose. But I'm so tired. Let me go. Please tell me it's okay to go now. I'm so very tired.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
I think because you are too wrapped up in your own crap you cannot see whats going on for me; which is good because I can get further; thinner this time.
Fuck I miss you. It's a physical pain. My whole body is aching with it. I just want you close, so I can breathe you in and forget all about this. Pretend it never happened, pretend I didn't hurt you.
I need to talk to someone. I don't know how to handle things anymore. But you were the sole person I talked to about my shit. You were the one there supporting me and advising me and... caring. You were my best friend too. And now I feel so isolated. Alone.
I'm trying so hard not to let what a mess I am show, but the cracks are appearing already. I'm falling apart without you. You were, are, my life. And now... I'm nothing again.
Talking to you, it's like getting a tiny piece of you back for a split second. And I know I shouted today, I didn't mean to. Like I said, the cracks are starting to show. I want us to still be open with each other, and I want you to confide in me like before. And I know I can be so ignorant sometimes, but be patient with me. I want to now how you feel. I'll try and stay calm and not belittle it. Urgh, I don't know how to say what I'm thinking. It's not coming out right.
Just... Know I still love you, more than anything. You're still my everything. And I miss you so damn much! I'm so sorry baby
♪♫ I'm Learning To Be Brave In My Beautiful Mistakes ♫♪
They say you learn who your friends are.
i just wish i was right about you ALL instead of so wrong.
You dont know how much hurt you have all caused me.
What have i dont to deserve this?
i know i deserve bad things but woah i must have done something really f*****g bad to get this.
Note: Before anyone on here starts moaning this is about them it isnt.Its to the world and most people in it right now ok?Or do you want to shout at me and be mean too?
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
When people in the world say they want to help you - dont listen.
When people in the world say you can trust them - dont listen
When people in the world say they care about you - dont listen.
When people in this world say they will be there for you - dont listen.
When people in this world say you can go to them in crisis or when you just need a friend - dont listen.
When people in this world say you matter to them - dont listen.
When people in this world say they wont hurt you -dont listen.
When people in this world say they wont judge you - dont listen.
When people in this world say you can rely on them - dont listen.
When people in this world say they will always be there for you - dont listen.
IF YOU LISTEN YOU'LL ONLY GET HURT.
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
