I miss you. Terribly. My life has not been the same without you. And I dont. My life is exactly the same as it was before. Im no better or worse off. How can one feel loss when they're empty anyway. I guess its just nostalgia. But I dont regret it. How can I, when all youve done is proven to me that I did the right thing. Over and over, with every day that's gone by. You proved to be everything I knew you'd become but hoped was wrong. Was misguided, circumstantial. And with every day that passes I'm glad I knew better than that. Now I just gave to ride out this pain you caused in my chest. It still hasn't stopped.
Just because your dad was awesome and great and everything that he should have been doesn't mean that all the rest of our dads are like how yours was. I'm not going to your stupid thing this year. Give me ONE good reason why I should. Why should I drive there for you? Why? I'm so sick of you.
"You are imperfect and you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." -Brene Brown
There it is, the reason that will scream every single year. I would have said it.
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
I really don't have the fucking energy right now.
And I haven't seen my therapist for two weeks and now I really want to cancel my appointment tomorrow.
Sure, she's a therapist and she's used to it but I haven't cried in front of her in the year i've been her patient and I don't think I could stop myself, so cancel it is.
I dont think I've ever met anybody as self centered / selfish as you.
Get over yourself sunshine.
We’ve got obsessions
I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week
We’ve got obsessions
You never tell me what it is that makes you strong and what it is that makes you weak.
There are remarkable things all the time, right in front of us,
but our eyes have like the clouds over the sun
and our lives are paler and poorer if we do not
see them for what they are. If nobody speaks of
remarkable things, how can they be called remarkable?"
I just really wanna tell my friend that I am a self harmer...I'm scared and i don't know how she will take it. She tends to not like to talk about serious stuff but I really want her to know.
"The hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it."
"Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too. "
******Be proud of who you are.******
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
My father ruined my life out of spite. And I'm not being dramatic. If the tests are positive I don't know what I'll do. How could he do that to me.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
It's pumping through my veins. It's in my bones.
Anger, resentment, contempt, silent and unknown hate, an emptiness that never ceases. The past, the future, the present.
It surges through my body. It's in my fucking bones. And I care so little.
My mum finally said that I looked nice in a short dress. After multiple stones lost and countless purges, I look nice.
I got told I was a 9 out of 10 yesterday.
And these are the reasons I cant let go of bulimia.
Sure I got rid of the braces and glasses, but the bulimia gets rid of the fat.
But Im trying. Im trying so hard to like myself without this devil on my shoulder.
We’ve got obsessions
I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week
We’ve got obsessions
You never tell me what it is that makes you strong and what it is that makes you weak.
