I can't stand doing this without you.
I can't go through this without your support.
Why do you have to be so far away from me? Why did your computer have to break? Why are phone calls so expensive?
I wish I had the ticket right now so I could be in your arms where everything is okay and I can feel like I'm worth something again.
RIP Shannon. I want to wake up and drink from your river
I want to reach out and tear down the sky, to know I'm alive
I want to learn how to feel without bleeding
The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spell-bound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea.
Wind in the Willows.
person 1. I really mean it when i say i miss you. Damn stupid pudgy arms!
person 2. You really hurt me. I dropped my guard and took the full force. I dont think you have any idea how hard it hit.
person 3. YOU make me feel more unloved each day. I cant look at you in the eye. I hate you some days. Im so fucking angry at you. You spineless fucking twat!
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
Right, well I've tried, your turn now. If Im right in what Im thinking, then fuck you.
Sarah: Give me the child.
Jareth: Sarah beware. I have been generous up till now. I can be cruel.
Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?
Jareth: Everything! Everything you have wanted I have done. You asked the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?
Ugh, we could fuck each other up bad, sir. I"m afraid that you'll hurt yourself. You know me, I'm blunt and totally honest. I intend to ask you full force dead on if you're still cutting. Don' lie to me.
Who the hell are you? Seriously? The first time you texted me I sent a reply asking who you were, to which you never answered. Over the next week or so I kept trying to call but got no answer, and now you keep sending random texts every now and then and disappearing. Leave me alone >.<
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
Thank you but I'm afraid I'll never tell you so I'm probably wasting your time.
I feel like s**t but I'll never tell you that. I'll never tell you how scared I am right now.
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm irrational and stupid. I do things out of principle, and sometimes these things aren't beneficial. Sometimes I just need people to show me that they care - I'm stupid and selfish and immature like that.
But thankyou
And you're my obsession, I love you to the bones...
I fucking hate you.
The only reason I'm not saying it to your face, and why I didn't open the door the on Friday and scream in your face to 'Fuck off out of my life' is because I don't want to to make a pathetic suicde attempt.
Because no matter how much you've hurt me, how little I think of you; I do not want to be responsible. That is actually hilarious thinking about it; I mean... you fucking bullied me for years, manipulated me and really did prove how fucking pathetic you are in my most desperate state of mind. Did you know I planned to kill you, fifth on my list, and that was only because you live farther away than the others. I was going to fucking KILL you, but slow, show you what REAL suffering is.
You think dressing in black and looking like you've been shot by a nail gun is suffering... you think the discrimination you get is SO bad?! It is your fucking choice, you are fucking pathetic...
For all these years I fucking hated myself everytime I thought I was anything like you... well I'm not.
I with more than anything I could say this to your face, but I know you, I know you far too fucking well... 'Oh I took the pills because I have no friends...' just fuck you, you've no idea you stupid, pathetic bitch.
~Beauty without intellence, is a materpiece painted on a napkin.~
Yes. Today I want to die. Right now I want to hurt myself so badly, that i can't feel anything else at all.
Yes, i need help, i want help and i should bloody well stop being so gawd damn freeking crazed and ask for help.. but i can't.
I was really close to kissing you on your way out, just because I think you need the confidence boost. You're a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
I just remembered us singing quietly under that blanket.
I would have a massive crush on you if you didn't live 5000 miles away. (: I hope I see you again. We need to hug hardcore. <3
Just one more year and it'll be over. And I can leave everything behind me. I can go away, and forget everything. I wish I could just get some things out of my head, just erase some of the shit that's in there. I wish I could. I wish I could get wasted just so I could forget, I wish I could do something to make it all go away. I wish I could talk to anyone about this. I wish there was someone who I would listen, without judging, or hating, or making fun of me. I wish I could turn back time to a year ago. I wish things wouldn't be like this. I wish I could just get out of this, I wish I could just get away.
I don't want this, I so don't want this anymore. It's like two years ago, I can't even breath anymore.
I fucking hate this, my mind isn't even safe anymore. Nothing is okay anymore. I can't even hide behind words or numbers anymore. It just all comes back to that one thing. And I am too fucking afraid to name it.
I can't even numb it out anymore. I wish I could burn or freeze the pain away. I wish I could make this stop.
I wish I could just make it stop.
I wish there was someone who I could talk to. i am sick of lying, of keeping so many secrets from everyone. I am sick of this pain. I am sick of being.
You wonder why I flinch when you pat my head. You wonder why I flinch when you are angry at me and make a sudden movement. You wonder why I tense when you are standing behind me, even if you're only a bit upset.
You get angry at me when I do that.
My friends wonder why I have such good reaction-time. I say it's because of my siblings, and the childish fights we had.
But my best reaction time is when someone aims for my face. They never hit me in the face.
I love you, and I hate you. Both of you. At the same time. I am afraid of you, and yet you are the ones I trust the most.
You like to pretend it never happened, mom. But I remember. And dad, I remember you standing there. You didn't do anything to stop it. You just told her to leave me alone, at one point.
