i drank.
i ODd tonight.
not enoughto get checked out.
just enough to escape...
not enought to fully escape.
i cut last night.
the pain was beautiful today.
i regretted it coz of you.
i feel so guilty because im meant to be good fo ryou.
and for you.
im sorry.
but im not all there right now.
i am a hypocrite
lets be honest you don't have a clue how to hwlp me do you
"The body faught to survive, it evacuated toxins in any way it knew how. It made clots to stop the bleeding.Bones would find the quickest ways to heal themselves. It made scar tissue. In the face of violence towards it, it would become violent. It was amazing, yet excruciating. "
I hate the fact i am your daughter because it means I have to honour you. I can't stand you. every thing you do drives me completely mad. There is no conversation in your house because everything you say revolves around you or your bloody obsession with david. You don't actually care about us, you just care about how YOU look in public and I hate you. I hate you.
You are talking to: Kat The Others are: Annabell (Belle), Rosie, Lotty, Kate, Amy, Jessica (Jess), Sarah, Ramiel(Miel), Elizabeth (Liz), Shadow
Mom, please stop asking me if i've cut again, everytime you mention it words cannot decribe how it makes me feel. I never wanted you to know and to this day i wish you never found out, the thought of you knowing makes me physically sick, the look you have on your face makes me hate you and myself. And the only reason i'm carring on with this shitty college course is the fact it will take me to uni, and i won't have to live with you.
I finally stopped lying to myself.
I miss you.
I need you.
You're supposed to still be mine.
But you're with her.
The girl who was supposed to be my friend.
I ruined everything.
And you want to know something?
Even though you hurt me. Crushed me.
Put me into this hell hole.
Started my cutting.
Made me attempt suicide.
After everything that happened.
I still want you.
I hope you and that backstabbing, lying, two-faced pot-head midget have fun.
Congratulations.
I'm finally broken.
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.
hows glasto gona work whe u despise me. ive never seen u like that. i know im a disgrace. a bad person. but u also know the good stuff u told me the other day.
im splitting one minute i dont care the next minute i just wanna speak to u. i know it seems pathetic but to me its not. i push people away ppl i have spoken to have said its the illness but u wont take that i dont expect u to tbh. i wudnt respect me for using it so y wud u
Oh my god don't ever scare me like that again.
You were like, feet away from me and if I wasn't 'scratching my back' you would have seen EVERYTHING. Wow, that was way too close :/
I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.
I feel so alone.
I need someone now, more than ever.
But there is no one.
Everyone leaves.
I'm not worth sticking around for.
What is so wrong with me?
I'm struggling, so much.
I don't know if I can make it.
Especially on my own.
Some of us fall by the wayside
Some of us soar to the stars
Some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars
Stop saying that! Stop it, please! I can never live to be that person who you think I am. I'm none of them. You don't know me as well as you think you do. This is making me feel worse.
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
I am not in the mood. Not even remotely. My father nearly died in a car accident, two friends have died in the last week and I stuffed my wrist, I have been up all night every night for 2 weeks. I have no personal space in this house right now and you know me well enough to know that makes for an explosive reaction to being poked, prodded and annoyed. I am so beyond not in the mood right now. Your sexual innuendos just irritate me, okay. It has been a long week. Leave. Me. Alone.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
I finally stopped lying to myself.
I miss you.
I need you.
^This.
and I hate myself more each day for it, tell me...when you finally end it all after I have the strength to get up and walk away, to be happy...am I going to be the last thought in your head before you close your eys forever? you know, the one you "loved so much" is it going to be me..or are you manipulating me again to make me hurt myself worse?
you see that scar Manda..yeah that? do you see how deep it is? that one is all for you babygirl. you RUINED me. and I thnik it's best taht I just delete you for good from my life.
I still love you..and I think..if I go away, and forget you..it'll all just stop..and I'll be whole again please let that happen, please let me forget you, i can't take anymore of this pain..
~you, yes, you...little girly, would you please fuck off she is not with you! the ring on her god damn finger and the tears in her eyes and the very thought of loseing me is proof. take your bullshit elsewhere. you're fucking pathetic.
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
