I've let you down. You raised me to be a good, honest, hard-working person, and I've destroyed everything good you created. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault..
"If your pictures aren't good enough, you aren't close enough." -Robert Capa
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Seuss
I feel like I'm pleading with a brick wall. I have been for years. But do I give up? No. It's pathetic, you said it yourself. I'm pathetic. I know you're tired of hearing it, and I'm tired of saying it, but for as long as I have feelings for you, I will say it, and I will mean it.
I just know you're going to do those things to yourself again, I know. I tried to help you, I've tried to be there for you.. I am invisible to you. I haven't seen your face in a year, and only then for a fleeting instant. And I still feel this way.
I hate how my life has turned out. I hate how I'm the one that ruined it for myself, and I also hate how I wouldn't change loving you and ruining myself in order to do it either. Damn it.
I fucking love you. Words can't describe how much you mean to me. I just wish you could understand how much I love you and realise that I don't mean to upset you the way I do.
you knew,you know. you knew/know exactly how i feel!
how could you not have known?
come on!
and dont kid yourself please i know how you felt about me.
they told me and u DID give me signs! i didnt just make that up..i couldnt!
i get it i get that u went away for a year and you have apparently "changed" well im not buying that im sorry.
its fine sometimes you like people and then change your mind. thats fair enough. but please please stop acting this way. sam agrees that youve clearly acted in a way that you shouldnt have around me.
today when u told me u had a girlfriend...it was like a bullet. She lives in holland! hows that gonna work?! maybe u should stop asking if im single.STOP IT. you know...and now it feels like your playing a game which i dont want to play!!
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
I'm drunk and I'm telling you things taht I've never told anyone
I love you.
you haven't left and maybe you're not going to?
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
Yeah thanks a fucking lot. I text you, I think about you, I don't do this to you. As soon as I'm out of sight, it seems like I'm out of mind too. Leave me alone today, I don't want to hear from you, and then we'll see if you like it when I disappear.
You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"
Fuck fuck fuck. I don't even like you! Leave me the fuck alone! Get it through your thick head - I. Do. Not. Want. To. Talk. To. You.
So back off, bitch.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
I'm afraid that I've taken a huge step backwards, after yesterday.
I can't bring myself to have anything today, because I won't be able to keep it down.
I'm terrified that I'm going to let you down really badly & not be able to cope.
I promise though, that I'm trying my best & I'll do everything I can to be okay and cope okay when I'm with you.
I'm just scared.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I just need to know. What exactly we are now. What you truly think of me and feel for me. Where you want us to be. What you want from me.
I love you. More than I probably should. But I can't help it. I have tried to reason with myself, but I cannot. I love you.
You are the only thing ever constantly on my mind. I obsess over you. My actions and thoughts are influenced by how I think you would like or react to whatever I do.
I am rarely home because I want to spend all my time with you. Talk with you. See you. Just being with you is all I need.
No one has ever influenced me the way that you do. I'm sure that I can do anything that you say I can do. I would do anything you ever asked of me.
We hold each other. I sit on your lap. You lift me up. We hold hands. The jokes we make. I just need to know.
How much of this is real to you? Does your heart race when you hold me like mine does? Does your breath catch and your face heat up when we hold hands like mine?
I wish we could have more days alone together. I would take you anywhere. Buy you whatever you wanted. Let you dress me up however your chose.
When you hold my hand, I never let go until you want me to. I wish we could just stay like that forever. When you dress me up, and photograph me. You make me feel and look gorgeous and beautiful. You make me confident.
My greatest regret thus far in our relationship, is not kissing you when I had the chance. We set ourselves up for it so many times that day. Did you want it as much as I did? Could you tell that I wanted to kiss you? Were you waiting for me to make the first move? Or were you just setting me up?
I am not afraid of the future when I think of you in it. I am not afraid of pain or being touched or getting close and letting people in. I am not afraid of anything when I imagine you by my side. I can do anything with you by my side. I can eat again. I can sleep at night. I don't have to hurt.
No one sees me cry. No one calls me a slut. I am not afraid of what people think of me. I don't share beds and lay with people. I am no one's Uke.
So what makes you so different?
Am I the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep? Does the thought of me help you sleep at night? Like the way you are in my head?
No matter what happens. I just need you to know that I love you with all I have. You are my everything.
