You think I am fine, you think I'm a survivor who works and jokes and laughs. Quite the entertainer I am.
But yes, i am hurting, My thigh is sore. And infected. My thumb has 3rd degree burns, again. I don't have ups and downs at the moment, just downs. I drink too much, take far too much medication and I really dislike the person I've become. I disgust me.
The leg will soon be healed, then I will have to work on what's next. Must hide it, so need to be very clever.
I am so tired of this. Without your wee girl I would honestly be nothing, freed from this earth forever more. She is my reason to live, and I love her so much.
i hate what ive turned in too. all i could think about was you last night and how i wished it could of been you their instead. im sick of playing these games.
Trying to Find A way Out of this world,
No-one Knows how i feel deep down inside,
Many Nights i've Cried, Nobody Around me to Confide in
Thank you for making my morning special.
I wasn't expecting you all to be so lovely to me.
And for the card and everything, I'll keep them safe for a very long time.
It really is most appreciated, you're lovely people.
For Joe,
It sounds stupid to everyone who's never experienced it, but you really have changed my life by bringing this music and this... zest back into my life. And you've been beyond generous in every sense of the word, and I relaly hope that we continue to play & make music together for a long time to come. And I fucking love my ukulele. It makes me feel really happy when I play. So thank you for that. Thank you so much.
For Vix/Moosey,
Thanks for being there for me & for making me laugh when I think I can't. Thanks for going to all these classes with me, so that I didn't have to be on my own. I'm really glad that the past's in the past, and everything's okay now. *makes happy moose noise*
For Dad,
I hope that whatever it is that's bothering and hurting you at the moment gets sorted soon. I miss my Daddy. I love you very much.
For Mum,
I've waited a long, long time to hear what I have done today. And I hope you understand that I can't trust you, I just can't. You've hurt me beyond anything you could imagine. I can't trust you. Please mean today, what you've said and everything, please mean it. Prove it.
I love you too.
And for everyone else who's helped me get this far, to 18, thank you.
And for Gaboo,
I have no other words but thank you.
For every second of the past 13 1/2 months.
I wouldn't be here without you.
& I love you.
And so, life begins.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I really need you right now
I hate to admit taht but I do
I don't trust myself tonight
please please
be around soon
I don't want to be sitting here alone at 3 am.
not with these thoughts in my head i need you
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
I wish you had never admitted how you felt about me, because I would have been okay by now, I would never have regressed the way I did.
My best friend fucked me up and I can't even tell her.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
lol. i love that you don't care anymore.
oh.. brb. thanks for that.
i also love that i find it impossible to say 'no'. i can't work those shifts. i can barely drag myself out of bed anymore. why did i say 'yes'? im so stupid.
no no its not ok. i cant do this i just needed out of there. sure im sooo happy now arent i? fuck why couldnt you see. why couldnt you listen? i want out. and right now theres nothing to stop me.... what if its too late? im sorry but i cant do this
"you never know how strong you are untill being strong is the only choice you have"
lozstar88 your my lopbelly night owl. CrashQueenyour beautiful and amazing like the vodka that stops the jelly from tasting funny :p
