I dont understand why its so hard for you to accept that i need to do this on my own.
A,
thankyou for always being there. I love you, but i need you to let me in.
L,
you know my thoughts before i do, so thankyou. Im never scared when you're with me.
T,
back off, im over you.
B,
im the girl for you. Sooner or later you'll see it.
Mum,
thankyou.
[x] if i could tear you from the ceiling, and guarantee a source divine- I'd fill your every breath with meaning and find a place we both could hide [x]
I'm sorry mum, but if I wasn't scared that I'd fail I'd have killed myself by now and that fear is slowly going...It's getting to the point that I'm willing to take the risk.
I want you all to care... but do you? Your "meeting" idea failed... or really did not get off the ground anyway. I love you all so much.. do so much for you... care for all of you so much... sigh.
I've wondered what it would do to you all if I just went through with it...
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
If I mattered to you as much as you thought, you'd have never done this.
But then again, if you had mattered to me as much as I thought, I'd have never done this either.
Sorry, kid.
You tell me one thing in your life, one thing without a shadow of a doubt that you really and truly believe.
u took my heart, u told me ude keep it safe and warm, u tore it apart slowely and painfully, piece by piece and now u leave me here bleeding, dying and hopeless. Thanks for keeping me safe from the outside world, maybe u should have thought to keep me safe from u aswell.
I know I shouldn't, I know I promised that I'd keep myself detatched. But I think I'm falling in love with you. I wish you knew how much you mean to me. I wish you understood how much your support means to me.
I wish you knew how hard it is when I can't get in touch with you. When it becomes suffocating, and just hearing your voice would be enough to keep me grounded, to stop it all from feeling so overwhelming.
But I can't call you.
Because you're living your other life, your real life, at home with your wife and kids.
*hugs*
Lyndsey x
I'm not afraid to fall,
It means I climbed up high.
To fall is not to fail,
You fail when you don't try.
I need you Gary.
Im sorry okay.
Temptation is to hard to give in.
I must do it.
Tonight I Shall go.
This isn't an opinon I can choose over life & death.
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
1) I need you to come online, I need to talk to you....I need to explain what happened, im damagedgoods. You dont desrve to have to put up with me;;Ill drag you down and ruin you.
2) I CANT BELIEVE YOU FUCKING DID THAT TO ME! how dare you! You have children that are my age! Do you have no idea wtf you've done to me? YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN WERE UPSTAIRS how fucking disgusting are you?
Do you know what it feels like to wake up liek that? Huh? I bet you fucking dont and you never will, will you? I hope - for your sake - I decide not to go to the police. Do you know what your wife and kids will think of you then? You disgust me.
You might have ruined my chances with the one guy who actually makes me smile. I hope that fucking makes you happy. I hope for your sake he doesnt come down and sees me....I hope he decides I am damaged goods and leaves me....Or i dread to think what he might do to you.
I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE. I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL WHERE YOU DESERVE TO BE YOU ARROGANT FUCKING PRICK OF A MAN.
bollocks bollocks bollocks. why does it have to take so long? when i ask about it i know you get annoyed but i jus need to know to put my mind at rest. argh!!!!! i jus like to know time frames for things ok. wtf...
