I'm sorry that I can't just be brave and get this all over with. I know it's stupid that I can cut myself yet I can't stick myself with a little needle. Still you shouldn't use my SH against me. You say "you cut yourself so why can't you do this?". What do you expect me to say? I don't know how it works it just does. You don't have to tell me how stupid I am, I already know. I'm sure you hate me, but trust me, I hate me more.
I do still love you, we're just not gonig anywhere and I feel that there's no point to us. I will always love you, and hte year ive wasted on you has prolly been my best yet, but I just think we are more different than ever now. I was going to split up with you, and then you tell me you have heart problems and its really hard, but its so much better cause you've got me? What do I do? If i break up with you, then I'm a bitch and I hurt you, if I dont then I'm a bitch for lying and I hurt me? Whats the anwser? ;_; x
We're gunna take a break from being mates, shit, it feels worse than being dumped, i feel that this is all because of my scars, since you've seen them its been wierd. Urgh. Wierd, how can that describe what's happend? I love you, I just wish you weren't putting me through this. I guess it's gunna be for the better. Maybe I'll loose you aswell. I love you ;_; x
I think this is turning into one of the only places I can really talk and communicate with others. I am sorry. I know how important it is for me to 'talk' but I just can't right now. She won't let me....
pity you dont know about this place.... it means that everything will be secret for now on.... the only things you will now know about is what ever she lets me write down in the hw... I'm so sorry.
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
I know this is only the second time I've seen you in 13 years. This is more than I have ever hoped for. But this has to end. I dont want a relationship with you. I just cant have one. Please dont write me or try to find me when you get out of jail. Goodbye.
The moment you feel like giving up, remember all the reasons you held on for so long.
^^Yes honeyyy, we just need to stick togetherrrrr. I love you sweetie xxx
-Don't say things like that. Seriously, you're so special to me. If you ever did it, I'm at a point where it might just knock me a bit too far.
-Last night, I spent about forty five minutes locked in the bathroom with the light off just laying in the middle of the floor in a heap, crying non-stop.
You always try to make me feel better, but you always say the wrong things... and when you ask me "Feeling a bit better now?" I lie because I don't want you to know you've made me feel worse.
Broken Smile . Starless Sky . End it All . Say Goodbye...
Emmy.
Happy Birthday, darling.
I still hope that even my name, or my face has flashed through your mind just once today, just so I know I'm not the insane one thinking about you. You're 21 today. That sounds crazy, really really crazy. But yeah, happy birthday, beautiful.
L, No one here.
Leave me alone, please. It's over 2 years since we split up, and it'll be 2 years in September since I last saw you, leave me alone already! I don't really want to be in contact with you anymore, we have nothing in common anymore, you messed me around when I needed someone most, you weren't there. Please, move on, leave me alone. I know you're really not well with everything you have going on, but please, move on. Nothing I seem to say to you gets through. No matter how many times I tell you that me and you will never, ever have a chance, and that you need to move on, it never makes a difference. I'm trying to cut off all contact, but you still always manage to get my contact details from Natnat. And the last thing I want to do is let go of my relationship with Nat, you know how much she means to me. Please, leave me alone. Even your name exhausts me.
Dad,
I purged twice today. I'm really sorry, but I have to. I love you so much, but I have to survive. It won't be okay anymore if I start eating again, then I'll put on weight and be even more disgusting. I don't want to shame you anymore by being your daughter. I'll be perfect for you one day, I promise you'll be proud of me.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
If u want the Rainbow,u gotta put up with the Rain
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London
I am currently:
YOURE ALL SHIT
Every single one of the places I was counting on for support has let me down. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU HAS BEEN THERE
YOU CALL YOURSELF MY BEST FRIENDS???????????????
All I want is a little support. All i want is for you not to ignore this.
Because I CANT ignore this.
AND FUCK ALL.
Id been waiting to talk to you all week since i found out cos i was counting on you, counting on you to talk to me, counting on you to be the mature intelligent reliable person I thought you were. you ignored my email. you ignored the issue completely. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THAT AND CALL YOURSELF MY FRIEND
GO TO HELL EVERY ONE OF YOU
NEXT TIME YOU NEED ME I WONT BE ANYWHERE TO BE FOUND
GET FUCKED
My head is againsed me.
It's like my head is a completely different person and it wants to destroy me so it can have control over me.
That sounds crazy. Maybe it's just the thing.. That also sounds crazy.
Oh dear.
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
I wish you were all there to save me. I like fixing things, I do. I fixed your problems, your situations. Now I have trouble fixing mine, and you are no where to be found. It makes me upset about that. Why am I the guilty party in all of this? Why am I being left all alone? Can't I be fixed? Please don't leave me all alone again...
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
