I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Handsome
Tender
Soft
Why do you look right through me
thinking
"No"
I can't deny my feelings
Growing strong
I try to keep believing
dreaming on
And every time I see you
I crave more
I wanna pull you closer
closer
closer
closer
but you leave me feeling frozen
Malchik gay
Malchik gay I can be
all you need
Won't you please
stay with me
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
Apologies, might-have-been's
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
can't erase what I feel
Malchik gay, gay
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
Choking
Back emotion
I try to keep on hoping
for a way;
a reason for us both to
come in
close
I long for you to hold me
like your boyfriend does
and though my dream is
slowly fading
I wanna be the object
object
object
object
of your passion but it's hopeless
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
I can be
all you need
Won't you please
stay with me
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
Apologies, might-have-been's
Malchik gay
Malchik gay
can't erase what I feel
Malchik gay, gay
Baby when you leave
I hold nothing back
Weapons up my sleeve
Like I’m under attack
So cover up your ears
Cos it only fuels the fire
I’ll be what you fear
I’m the answer of your desire
[Chorus]
I touch the sky-y-y [x4]
(Your heart is)
[Skrillex]
If you could hear me now, why don't you recall?
I was the one who cared after all
I touch the sky
Let the light in my face
Pierce through my skin
Gone with the wind
I touch the sky
Let it fade into grey
Burst through the seams
I’m on the wing
I'll take my hope where I can find it Seems I find it here in you Hang your curtain get behind it I won't even ask for proof Go ahead and read my fortune Cast your dice devine my fate I just want to know I have one Tell me that it's not too late for A little second hand faith A line upon my palm that I can't just erase 'Cause I need to believe in a hierarchic grace I can do without a book I'll never read Second hand faith is all I need I will pay you for your trouble I will pay you for your time Steal my wallet, charge me double All I've come for is a sign Is there someone who can help me?
This is my confession
I never wanted to wrestle with depression
Let it get inside my head until I'm left with excessive agression
Now give me a weapon, my self expression is threatening
I'm excessively protective cause my head is getting messed with
And I'll accept this as a lesson
Never question the direction I'm headed
I guess I'm destined to be a freshman among vetrans
Jane, stop this crazy thing; George Jetson.
I couldn't sleep so I kept thinking,
I couldn't face reality so I kept drinking.
The more I kept drinking, the more I kept smoking;
Choking on the moments, my soul is totally broken.
It's so confusing and so consuming,
My life was out of order like a Tarantino movie
So I looked at my reflection in the mirror and then I said
"Man **** my Life- I wish I was dead"
Invincible- Destorm ft. Ray William Johnson and Chester See.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
[Chorus:]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
[Chorus]
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk
I'm crazy, need my prescription filled
Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you
A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the f*** you think it's doing to me?
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and r*** you the way you r**** me
And I'll pull the trigger And you're down, down, down
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the f*** you think it's doing to me?
Hush, little baby, drink your spoiled milk
I'm crazy, need my prescription filled
Do you like my cookies? They're made just for you
A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too
It's probably what's best for you
I only want the best for you
And if I'm not the best then you're stuck
I tried to sever ties and I ended up with wounds to bind
Like you're pouring salt in my cuts
And I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
Even though I know what's wrong
How could I be so sure
If you never say what you feel, feel
I must have held your hand so tight
You didn't have the will to fight
I guess you needed more time to heal
Baby, I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
You must be a miracle worker
Swearing up and down
You can fix what's been broken, yeah
Please don't get my hopes up
No, no, baby, tell me how could you be so cruel?
It's like you're pouring salt on my cuts
Baby, I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
Baby, I just ran out of band-aids
I don't even know where to start
'Cause you can bandage the damage
You never really can fix a heart
Oh no, no, no
You never really can fix a heart
Oh no, no, no
You never really can fix a heart
Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh yeah-oh, oh, oh, oh
You never really can fix my heart
You can bandage the damage, you never really can fix a Heart.
Stay Strong and Be Unbroken.
Carrielee, 20.
Demi Lovato IS my inspiration.
I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday i don't care about you
It's Friday I'm in love
Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love
Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...
I don't care if Monday's black
Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's Friday I'm in love
Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed
Or Thursday watch the walls instead
It's Friday I'm in love
Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But Friday never hesitate...
Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday
I'm in love
I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm in love
Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love
If I could take away the pain, and put a smile on your face baby I would, baby I would.
If I get make a way, so you could see a better day baby I would, baby I would.
Trust is like a hurricane.
Never give up.
Never say never.
Live life to the fullest.
Keep smiling.
Your sorry eyes cut through the bone
They make it hard to leave you alone
Leave you here wearing your wounds
Waving your guns at somebody new
Baby you're lost
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause
There's too many people you used to know
They see you coming they see you go
They know your secrets and you know theirs
This town is crazy; nobody cares
Baby you're lost
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause
I'm tired of fighting
I'm tired of fighting
Fighting for a lost cause
There's a place where you are going
You ain't never been before
No one left to watch your back now
No one standing at your door
That's what you thought love was for
Baby you're lost
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause
I'm tired of fighting
I'm tired of fighting
Fighting for a lost cause
Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Pretending I'm doing well (ooh ooh)
My need is such I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell
Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh)
I play the game but to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone
Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
Ooh Ooh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh)
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not (you see)
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're still around
Yeah ooh hoo
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal
Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're
Pretending that you're still around
I lost my place in the world
It left me behind
Now my soul is undone
And my mind is free to roam around
Thoughts drip down to words
On a page I'll scrawl in a foreign tongue
Circles tending towards the center
Lead you back to none
You can cry
You can beg
You can plead
You can pray
You may doubt it apathetic
But you never have control
You saw what you wanted
But the rest was terrible
Pull back the curtain
And reveal a guilty soul
The veil can be lifted
And the well will overflow
You've been here before
You've seen it all
But your conscience won't recall
And your eyes are barely wide enough
To recognize what your heart keeps giving up
And someday it might win
If your mind's giving in
Just try and love yourself
Or do your best 'til then
When I'm gone, are you gonna miss me? Are you even listening? Do you even care about anything at all?
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
~ SilentBoy
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
You still have all of me.
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
How do you like the way you feel when I leave you?
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim
They make you wanna self destruct
and become someone else
And when it feels like it's too much
Baby don’t hurt yourself
Beautiful scars don’t last forever
Come on, let me kiss it better
The pain won’t last forever
Come on, let me kiss it better
Your perfect the way you are
I wanna hold your suffering in my arms
This feeling never leaves you alone
You pull the trigger on your own
Hiding in your safe place
Hiding with your eyes shut tightly on the way to the hospital
Will you ever rest your head
You end up feeling mostly dead
Pretending you're the last one
Hiding with your eyes shut tightly on the way to the hospital
Before I cross my heart and hope to die at all
Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars
It never used to hurt before
It isn't funny anymore
Feeling so alone now
Funny how you wish some way that you could die at the hospital
You're quiet on the car ride home You're waiting for your head to explode
Hiding in your safe place
Hiding with your eyes shut tightly on the way to the hospital
Before I cross my heart and hope to die at all
Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars
Before I close my eyes I hope to give it up
Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars
Three cheers, you've fooled them all
Before I cross my heart and hope to die at all
Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars
Before I close my eyes I want to give it up
Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
