I was listening to you talk and I was proud of you. You're a smart man and I'm thankful for you. For everything you do. Thanx for loving me as if I was one of your own. Like you said, I too identify with you and I have always known we can connect easily with eachother. It may not show but spending time with you makes me happy and I don't plan on getting lost.
I want to be there too.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
I wish I was able to tell people how I really feel about them and not be so nervous. Instead I just come off as blunt, I wish I was comfortable enough to feel able to compliment people with complete honesty and not just utter a restrained comment.
I wish I could cut to the chase here, I'm scared to let my real feelings be known because I'm scared of rejection i.e being hurt.
I'm so pathetic, this reads like a postsecret postcard.
Muppet.
Realise it's not personal.
Realise freedom of speech is so, so important. Not allowing people to talk about things just makes issues loom and promotes shame and ignorance.
Realise I am as strongly for this as you are against it.
i feel so numb. so bitterly fed up with life. so tired and exhausted from dealing with one crisis and challenge after another. im going to be so stoned and so drunk tonight, and its the only thing that is keeping me going. it wasnt nice, sitting with steph, hearing her say "u seem different.." i just didnt feel chatty, i couldnt muster up and energy or excitement for anything, couldnt even be bothered to talk or listen, or do anything. sorry.
If u want the Rainbow,u gotta put up with the Rain
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: London
I am currently:
im sorry i wasnt there for you today....i just needed you to be there for me cos being with you is the only time i feel safe...and i needed to feel safe...
i knew the day would come where i'd see pictures like that...pictures make everything so real, i didnt think it would hurt as much as it did, i think i need to let go, i thought i had...maybe it just takes more time than i thought it would...
I don't need anybody.
I can be a f*ck-up quite well by myself.
I think my body's rotting on the inside.
All I want to do is sleep. Sleep and eat junk shit and gorge myself on self pity.
Ram my head against the wall because I f*cked up again, like I always do.
Take pills to make me sleep and get nauseous so take more pills. And sleep.
Blades can't help me. There won't be any blood anymore just rot.
I wish I felt healthier, maybe then I'd cope more with shit.
Everyone seems to be breaking up with their partners, but I'm still jealous. At least they got to feel something. I'll never do that. I'll just sit here alone.
Just me & my regrets.
Don't you dare threaten me! Motherfucker! Fuck you! and before I forget again, FUCK YOU!
You want to kill me? Fucking do it then, why don't you? You're all talk, I'm not. You even dare put a finger on me I'm the one that's gonna hurt you. Do it, you've been saying you will for years, so go ahead and do it! Kill me!!! Kill us all!! I don't care, I'm already dead inside so I really don't give a shit you ass-hole. I have nothing to loose so if you give me the chance I'll tear you apart.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
