“Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.”
*hugs everyone*
Hope your trip goes well, Mark. Is there a way Felicia can pick up a new refill on her meds over there?
~~~
I have come to the conclusion after having my ex's fiance call me this morning that I am a terrible person... But I can't keep from laughing about the whole thing... O.O
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
*shrugs* I think poorly of the fiance... have since before they were engaged. I'll leave that part of it alone, if I elaborated you'd see my point on being horrible.
Long story short... He owes about $18,000 in child support and the state he moved to is prosecuting him for felony level refusal to pay it. He has a court date next month apparently. She called thinking I had sent them after him when I didn't. She threw a fit saying how she was disabled and didn't know if she could live without him for 6 months... (same way ya did before you met him last year maybe?) I filled her in that all the papers he said needed turned in by me he had a copy of and child support up here has 2 copies of. And she called me at work to address her issues. -While I was covering the front desk- CLASSY *insert dripping sarcasm here*
And I think I'm losing it because the whole thing from her, the situation, child support refusing to acknowledge the paper work, etc etc etc is F-ing hilarious to me. Like I burst into giggle fits to where I laugh so hard I'm crying out of no where about all this. And I don't feel bad about their problems being funny to me. But then I feel bad that I don't feel bad...
I am a complicated individual... *sigh*
How are you guys doing?
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going inpatient in 4 weeks and that they have me go to the closed ward first. All I know is that I'm scared and I want to injure so badly.
How are you?
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
*hugs Mark* no, it's voluntary. I'm forcing myself. I'm forcing myself to get better, but really I don't know if I want to get better. I'm forcing myself to talk in therapy. I don't think I can force myself to cooperate there the whole day.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Recovery is hard sometimes, i'm glad that you're forcing yourself to do the things that you think might be beneficial for you. What do you think will be difficult about cooperating for the whole day?
I have my voluntary work tomorrow and I really don't want to go. It's so exhausing to put on a face and I feel distracted and like i'm going to cry.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I really want to injure and purge and I don't want to be stopped, or maybe I do want to be stopped but I can't ask for help. I don't want to cooperate and I'm not strong enough to force myself all the time.
Is it the whole day tomorrow?
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
I don't really know what I want to get from it.
I don't know why I injure most of the time. I do know that I purge when I'm feeling full and/or fat.
That's 5 hours. Seems like a long time now, but it is probably going to be over much faster than it seems like now. Don't check your watch too many times, then it wont feel as long. You can do this.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
*cuddles Mark* You make me smile :)
*hugs Lindsay* What kind of volunteer work is it?
*hugs Laura* Proud of you for helping yourself. Is there any way that since it is voluntary you could start on a non closed ward? It seems to be the biggest snag in your... reluctance/willingness/ comfort/whatever word is right cuz I can't find it.
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
*hugs Crimson* I don't think the closed ward is the thing that bothers me. I guess I kind of prefer it that way, they said that I'm going to have less therapy there, that's relaxter I think. It bothers me that there are people going to watch me all the time.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
True but would they watch you as much in an open ward?or watch you less?
~I could be wrong... kind of a feeling in the dark for the light switch kind of deal for me.
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
