Well if the general consensus is that I should be fine with this situation and that I am selfish then I guess I don't need these forums.
Life is one short moment of pure happyness in a sea of endless and agonising pain.
Quote:
If you got a cat for one day, man I mean, if you, say, say, if you want a cat for 365 days, right you aint got him for 365 days, you got him for one day, man you know, you can say, oh man, you can cry about the other 364, man, but you're gonna lose that one day, man, and that's all youve got
-Janis Joplin, Ball & Chain Unseated from braniac champion by Mistress of Misery :)
Yes, you can't help the way you feel, but you can choose how to react to those feelings..
If something upsets you, you don't have to keep focusing on it, you can go out and try to make yourself feel better, you can focus on positive things in your life. You don't have to cut or anything else, yes I realize that's really hard to do, but it's possible.
You choose how to react. It's not your friends responsibility to keep you safe, you need to do that yourself. It's part of recovering and accepting responsibility.
In the end, this is not the end of the world. If everyone was to kill themselves because of heartache, there would be no people left on earth. it is something we all go through and something we all have to learn to deal with. It is a part of being a human being. I am not saying you are not allowed to hurt, i am saying that you need to take responsibility for yourself and your well being.
Also, I can't help but think it is very unhealthy that they are willing to go to such extremes to keep you happy and free from hurt. Hurting is a part of life. You cannot go through it without and for them to have to walk on eggshells around you, to keep you from it, is not right at all. Of course, they are your friends and want you happy, however, that is not the right way to do it. Instead of hiding what hurts you, they should help you accept the situation as it is, so that you can all continue your lives as you used to, but in a new situation. Hiding what hurts from you is not helping you in the end. It is simply to postpone, what you have to accept at some point anyway.
I am not implying that it hurts less because you are a teenager, I've been one myself, I know how it feels like the end of the world when the person you are in love with, doesn't feel the same way. However, life does go on. You do get past something like this and ending your life over it, is simply not worth it. You have to learn how to deal with these things in a healthy way. No one is saying you are not allowed to hurt, but we are saying that you need to learn how to cope with this type of thing, cause it is a part of being human and it will most likely happen again in your life.
Den fuldkomne kærlighed,
Kan ikke eksistere blandt ufuldkomne
I think you are overreacting and being selfish. You can't really expect them not to have anything about their relationship on facebook, they are happy and in love and they are, of course, allowed to show that on facebook as well. If you have a problem with it, it's up to you to avoid it. Not asking them not to discuss their relationship there.
I think they have already done too much, by deleting messages that may upset you. In the end, keeping you safe is your responsibility, not theirs. That means, if anything upsets you to the point where you want to kill yourself, YOU do what you have to do, to avoid those triggers.
I think you are completely out of order, to expect them not to have things about their relationship on facebook, simply because it upsets you. You are, after all, not the centre of the universe and if it makes them happy to show their love on facebook, they should't avoid that, simply because it upsets one person.
And you are a teenager, you will probably experience heartache plenty of more times in your life, learning to live with it and move on is possibly more helpful for you, than ending your own life because of this one incident.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qvazzy
In the end, this is not the end of the world. If everyone was to kill themselves because of heartache, there would be no people left on earth. it is something we all go through and something we all have to learn to deal with. It is a part of being a human being. I am not saying you are not allowed to hurt, i am saying that you need to take responsibility for yourself and your well being.
Also, I can't help but think it is very unhealthy that they are willing to go to such extremes to keep you happy and free from hurt. Hurting is a part of life. You cannot go through it without and for them to have to walk on eggshells around you, to keep you from it, is not right at all. Of course, they are your friends and want you happy, however, that is not the right way to do it. Instead of hiding what hurts you, they should help you accept the situation as it is, so that you can all continue your lives as you used to, but in a new situation. Hiding what hurts from you is not helping you in the end. It is simply to postpone, what you have to accept at some point anyway.
I am not implying that it hurts less because you are a teenager, I've been one myself, I know how it feels like the end of the world when the person you are in love with, doesn't feel the same way. However, life does go on. You do get past something like this and ending your life over it, is simply not worth it. You have to learn how to deal with these things in a healthy way. No one is saying you are not allowed to hurt, but we are saying that you need to learn how to cope with this type of thing, cause it is a part of being human and it will most likely happen again in your life.
SO true.
Also, I've been in love with someone who has a partner themselves. But I wouldn't ever ask them to not discuss their relationship or anything. I just get on with life. Sadly you just have to. I think you over-reacting.I know you really love them, but you clearly aren't going to have a relationship with them anytime soon. You need to try distract yourself & maybe find some new friends if it's causing you so much pain?
