Tell Your Secrets! And Be Honest!! - Page 157

Devil Girl · 17-11-2009, 03:03 AM

insomnia old friend I want you to leave. i cut bad tonight

-Shae-Lynn* · 17-11-2009, 05:40 AM

She asked if I was pregnant.
She's four, and nothing was meant by it.
That sweater just "poofs" out at the bottom of my belly.
Why is it then that this broke me. That it has cause me to slip back so deep into what I was trying to escape from.
Why?
Because I am not okay. I never was.
That is my secret.
That I've finally been broken. You asked why it looked like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, it's because I'm carrying something more important. All of their hopes and wishes for me to get better. I give in, I break them too. And yet, right now, as much as I love and care about all of them, I can't keep fighting right now.
I'm sorry.
I tried my best, but for right now, that isn't good enough.

StillBroken · 17-11-2009, 02:09 PM

The only reason I am not going to go "burn calories" now, is that my arm hurts to much from yesterday.

Pnuemonia[Blue] · 17-11-2009, 02:12 PM

Right now I'm not doing okay.
Right now I'm not coping safely
Right now I'm too proud to ask for someones help
Right now I'm too worried about the feelings of others to tell them I'm slipping because without the voices to distract me, all I feel is pain.

Devil Girl · 17-11-2009, 11:07 PM

has stopped eating again

__T · 17-11-2009, 11:08 PM

Free? My arse, falling back into the trap again

-Shae-Lynn* · 17-11-2009, 11:26 PM

It's 5:27pm and I have not eaten anything today.
The "hunger pains" have started.
That pain proves that I am real. That this is not a dream. That this is in fact happening.
That makes it worth it.
I like the pain.

Field Of Paper Flowers · 17-11-2009, 11:57 PM

I wish I was smaller. I hate my tummy, hips and thighs. =(

Cautiousoptimism · 18-11-2009, 01:36 AM

I spent so long in recovery, building everything up again.

Piece by piece.

And I'm going to throw it all away

[Awakening] · 18-11-2009, 02:55 PM

I'm not well, I'm not coping and I don't want to be here.

Kitkat :) · 19-11-2009, 12:11 AM

One of my secrets... I really want to let go and just not be around anymore but I couldn't stand to think about how my parents would go after I died... I'm their only child

lozza · 19-11-2009, 05:29 AM

I want to write in that new journal so much but I am so afraid too. I am terrified about what may come out. I keep on looking at it... wanting so much to just open it, pick up the pen and write. But I am scared too.... right now I am shitting myself:s

Tayy · 19-11-2009, 08:11 AM

i wish i was as skinny as i was when people were calling me anorexic!

Second Chance · 19-11-2009, 03:17 PM

I'm sick of being hungry all the time. I can't slip now though.

*fallenangel* · 19-11-2009, 04:04 PM

Im terrified. Utterly terrified. I guess Im lucky Ive felt this delicious new exciting feeling a couple times in my life now...and id been craving it, didnt think it was goin to happen again and now it is.
And im so excited.
Its so strange, its literally like someone has put H & K in a pot and shes the person you get when you mix those two people together. Its almost like H was her past, K is her present...and her future... Im intrigued to see how it turns out.
This is really scary for me.
Its weird how I can still be in love with other people.. yet be excited about this. Perhaps this is how people end up cheating.
If I were ever to have the four of them in a room... I dont think I could pick between three of them. Confusing.
But exciting too.

Catharsis · 19-11-2009, 07:16 PM

Im not that scarred when im covered up.
I leave the light on.

Scars · 20-11-2009, 05:03 AM

I hate myself.
I don't hate you.
But I know I should.
You're a terrible mother.
I feel like throwing up all of my food.
I feel like cutting.
Do you remember teaching me how?
I do.
You ruined me.
:(

-Shae-Lynn* · 20-11-2009, 07:12 PM

For the first time ever, I had side-effects after taking an overdose. It wan't even the biggest one I've ever taken, or the strongest medicine. I guess taking it on an empty stomach makes it worse.
Only problem, as scared as I was, I kinda liked it. I liked being afraid that I would die. I wanted to save my life.
That can't be a bad thing.
Except it is because now I want to do it again to get that feeling back...

DestroyMe · 21-11-2009, 01:50 AM

she kissed me friday and it felt like 20cc of posion straight to my veins directly at my heart

lozza · 21-11-2009, 04:50 AM

I really really wish you werent home right now... cuz I just need to do something,m but I cant do it when your here cuz you will no doubt see it...

fuck

just go out... please leave me alone...

I need to hurt me and for it to be over and done with already

I'm sorry:(