I lie just to get away with it, I cheat I manipulate, I dont care if i hurt others as long as I am not the one hurting. I have stolen just to prove to mysel fthat i can. I have been cruel to animals and I think its fun that they are the ones that are hurting and not me.
....(edited) ...
I know its sick but I cant help it. It scares me yet I want everyone to feel my pain.
Last edited by typsee : 13-05-2008 at 07:56 PM.
Reason: post edited to remove confession of something illegal and which could be upsetting to other members.
Convince me that I’ve been sick forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can’t help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : I'm ashamed of myself
In the times I don't wish to end my own life, I wish someone else would.
Please send somebody to take this life from an unworthy husk.
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
While the new meds aren't working for me at all and I'm feeling pretty much suicidal, the depression is affecting my appetite and making me lose all the weight I hate myself for.
Even if it kills me, at least I might die thinner.
I don't want to spend the rest of my days
Running around, chasing my shadow
So please don't let this chance slip away
If I waste it this time
I won't be here tomorrow
Its all my fault
I have enough to do it, i want to, fuck i want to but i know what will happen and i know what will happen to you
actually
i awnt that to happen to you
oh, and fuck you
If only you'd ever speak to me
the way you once did
look at me the way you once did
pull to me the way you once did
but you don't
you don't feel anymore
you don't care anymore
it's all gone
it's all gone
I dont think I wanna try for anything in my life, I just wanna lie down right now, I've no reason to move, this life isn't worth living.
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
now i have read some other peoples problems and thoughts i fell mine are irrelevant butoh well.
i am scare of being rejected as the true me.
my friends dont know half of the things i have been through or thought in my life.
i am scared to tell them i think guys kissing is hot.
i am scared to tell them i love the idea of vampires
i am scared to tell them about my life
i am scard to tell my best friends the simplest things.
and to top it all off i think i am in love with one of my best friends.
but when i was round my friends house the other day i fell asleep and my friend told me that the one i like kissed her.
i am jealous but know he will never like me.
i hate myself the only thing that stops me from breaking down and crying and self harming is my music.
i always thought it was a little cliche but i guess my chemical romance really did save y life.
and now these red ones help me fly,
and the blue ones help me fall.
just remeber that flying
is only falling
until you hit the floor
as of today [12th may 2008]
i am no longer a RYL orphan
mother:mad-mad-world
yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
^*snuggles tight* i wish i could give you a hug =(
i wanna give in and slice up the fat blob that is my body ><
ugh
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I look at how people connect on here and how people worry if someone hasn't been on for a few days; I sometimes wish I had that connection with someone.
