I was/am suicidal and SH'ing on the ward. It's been 3 days on the obvs but it feels like an eternity. The Demon has been punishing me for having the Depot, it's been agony.
It's easier to carry out the act the Demon wants than talk to the nurses.
But I know that I have to start cause I can't cope with being on 1:1 anymore.
Munchbox, I think the best plan is to talk to the nurses instead. It might not be the easiest but it might be the most productive. Especially if you want to get off 1-1.
Kate, sorry to hear you're back in, I hope it helps.
Tamb, I'm glad you had a nice weekend without too much bother.
I'm being bothered by thoughts of being spied on and people reading my thoughts and just ah, I don't know. I'm finding it easier to spend as much time in bed, even if I'm not sleeping, than it is to get up and function.
Pretty much just in bed to be honest. I think it's annoying my partner because she wants me in a routine and I understand why but I'm just happier in bed or asleep because reality seems that much further away. I'm also hearing a lot of whispering and I'm sure it's the men trying to get to me and nowhere is safe really. I'm just so tired of life. It's not that I want to die or anything like that I'm just exhausted.
Voices really load and im not allowed my head phone because I'm a danger to myself.
They keep telling me 2 babies died because of me. It's all my fault.
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
I'm trying to force myself out of bed but tbh I'm not enjoying much, just kind of getting through. Had a long discussion yesterday with my therapist about my fear and she seems to think 'radical acceptance' from DBT and just generally facing my fears will work but they're not irrational? I'm not really sure what to make of it to be honest. Oh well. I'm sick right now too so feeling woefully sorry for myself.
Kate, I'm really sorry to hear how bad the last few days have been. How are you today? How do you feel about your team suggesting you come off your meds?
I'm a lot better today thanks. I have started to realise that some of the things I though we're possibly not true. I need to talk it through with someone though because I'm finding it hard to keep believing it's not true.
I'm in a good mood now though and no longer have suicidal thoughts.
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
