I want to be with people all the time because they make me feel safe. I hate being on my own right now. I'm not safe. I'm scared and overwhelmed and feeling incredibly needy. Please pick up on that.
The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.
Elizabeth Gilbert
I hate this. All of it. You're making me feel worthless and I don't know how much I can take anymore. I need someone to actually give a fuck and be there. I mean REALLY BE there. Give me a text. Ask how I'm doing. Give a fuck. Want to listen to me. Someone who doesn't know L so I won't be judged. I feel so fucking alone. I need someone to help me. Reach out.
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
I don't ask much...can you just do this one thing for me..? Please..?
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
yes it's all my fault because everything is always my fault and you're a fucking saint. stop fucking talking shit about me and when you asked me if I thought you were a sociopath I lied.
not only do I think you're one. you fit the criteria for that disorder, you're fucking cruel, everything out of your mouth is a lie, even the most mundane things, like you can't tell the truth at all. you always have to play the saint card while it's everyone else that's messed up.
you don't express feelings if you even have them unless it's to throw a tantrum if you don't get your way.
you are almost 30 plus years older then me and you are the biggest piece of shit, manipulative, cruel, shady as fuck literal pedo I've ever fucking met.
fuck you for threatening me with legal action when YOU KNEW what you were doing and you KNEW I'm a trauma survivor and you KNEW I'm fucking vulnerable.
fuck you for what you did to me, for what you FORCED ME to do. also fuck you for fucking with my head and making it out to everyone like I'm the liar and the fucking nutcase.
no, that's you. oh and you're gunna fucking die of cancer? really? then why was the business card for a cardiologist you fucking lying fuckhead.
and that was a delusion. I'm pretty sure she doesn't exist, doesn't have any money, isn't going to save you, and is nothing more then someone on board with your sick game to scam people into taking care of your lazy ass because you promise them the world and a shit ton of money that you "have"
fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope they lock you up forever because the next twenty something that you prey on is probably not going to let youget by with all that shit.
she shouldn't of picked you up from that institution in the first place because you are literal batshit fucking crazy and should not be around people you narcissistic, self entitled, r*pist mother fucker.
fuck you. I didn't need to add to the wealth of trauma I already have you piece of shit and now I have even more shit to work through in therapy because you preyed on my fucking trauma and brainwashed me you fucker I hope you get sent to fucking jail and get the fucking chair. I really do. you're a sick fuck. and I've lost friends because of you demanding you have my account information for FB and posting things to MY ACCOUNT that I would not have posted and also talking to MY FRIENDS PRETENDING TO BE ME because you either wanted to be an asshole and fuck up my life more and make it so I HAD NO FRIENDS or you wanted to cause me more trauma.
so thanks for that because now I've lost half my friends, they won't even talk to me all because you're an egotistical fuck head pedo and I really hope you get caught and get the fucking chair.
Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
Please, please call me and tell me that my best is good enough. I know I can do this.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
You are my life. Everything. All that matters to me. I could lose you and you make it seem so inconsequential. Like it doesn't even matter. I need you and to me it matters. I dont know what I would do without you. I dont know how I could go on in this life without you. Still, you expect me to. You expect me to just go on with my life like nothing ever happened. Do you realize how much that hurts? Do you realize how much the fact that you wont even let me come home to TRY to be there for you, to say goodbye hurts? You tell me that if I stay here you will make it through. How am I supposed to believe that? How can I possibly believe that my being 5000 miles away, in a horrible situation will help you to survive this? How can you expect me not to cry, not to have a hard time with this? I cant. I need you and I am so scared and hurt and all I want is to come home and be in your arms. That is all I want.
how can this be love, when you don't show that you care if i'm hurting at all?
how can this be love, when you turn me down every time i try?
how can this be love, when you don't offer me support, when i'm stress, or unsure?
when was the last time you looked at me, and told me i was beautiful?
when was the last time you even thought it?
i love you. i wish you looked me too.
i'm so stressed. i'm so tired. i'm feeling so bad about myself.
i just wanted to feel beautiful for a moment. i wanted to escape. i wanted to get lost in you.
Its not my fucking fault if she chages her mind 7 times, is triple sure on each time and then changes it again and finally then tells me its a grill. ITS NOT MY FUCKING FAULT that you've half made some of them up.
Fuck you. If you decide to live i will be here... Otherwise enjoy your fucking suicide. I hope it is just as beautiful and selfish as you dreamed of and i hope your kids aren't traumatised for life like you were when your dad killed himself.
I miss you.
I hate being without you.
I don't understand how you could leave.
I don't understand how you can live your life like I mean nothing to you.
I miss you.
And you don't even care.
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
.gif "blue")
