Come on little pumpkin, look how far you've come. Try to think about the things that are truly important, like love and satisfaction and health. I know it's so hard but I promise it will be worth it. Don't throw your life away in pursuit of the impossible. You're worth so much more than that my love <3
I can't help feeling that I'm going to mess things up. People can generally only cope with me in very small doses, even psych nurses. I don't know how anyone 'normal' and not mental health trained could put up with me for more than a couple of days.
I don't want to mess this up.!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
STOP IT!
This is not fair.
I shouldn't have to do that so stop pressuring me.
I feel bad for you.
I really really do.
I know how it feels when it seems completely hopeless and really hard but you can't just give up.
Stop pressuring me.
I'm trying to help you.
Don't take advantage of me.
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
That's it.
If you're giving up, I give up too.
I don't owe you anything.
If anything, you owe ME.
I care about you, I feel bad for you, and I'm trying to help you.
But you need to help you too.
Clear your head, start over, try again.
I don't want you to give up because I know you can get this done.
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
Thank you for yesterday afternoon and today. This last few weeks I've felt like our friendship has been getting less and less. I know youve been busy and weve still talked but its felt forced and habit more than a want. Yesterday showed me you do still care, working out how you could come for longer and stuff. And this morning, it was like it used to be, it felt normal. It was like the old times. You will never know how much you have helped this last two days. Thank you so so much. I can't wait till Friday so its booked and it will definitely be happening. Then I can be excited. Until then I wont let myself get my hopes up. I miss you. I love you.
1) I miss you. I can't help but feel I could have saved you. Why did you end your life? I thought you were getting better. I wish I'd gone to your funeral. I wish you were still here. I don't want you to be dead.
2) You keep asking me if I ever feel suicidal, and that if I do I should talk to you. I can feel myself slipping. I want to pick up a blade and just keep slicing. I want to end it. The thoughts are becoming more and more frequent and intrusive. But as much as I just want to give into the thoughts, I want them to go away more. I just can't talk to you mammy, I can't tell you, the words just won't come out. I can't let you down.
3) I want the real Leanne back. The Leanne I would lie down for hours with just holding each other. Now it's like hugging a brick wall. I want you to hold me back, and I just want to break down in your arms, cause I can't do this on my own anymore.
You may lose the battle, but keep fighting the war.
"I'm scaring myself, I don't know the girl in the mirror now"
"How can you know? How can you stay in control when all that you know is falling apart?"
"Time's racing please slow down, i gotta find my way out, I'm hopless but hoping.."
RIP Lewis Thelwall - 26/11/12
ILOVEYOU- remember that c:
Okay....first of all...calm THE FUCK down.
Second of all, I don't really have time for this right now but..okay.
Third, do not make threats or say you have ideas unless you mean it.
If you mean it...wow.
Fourth, it is just a tiny paper, your life is not over because of this paper.
Fifth, I recommend you go to sleep.
I have only acted that out of control a few rare and extreme times in my life.
I don't know what I would do if I were you but if being awake and conscious is making you act this way...you need a break.
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
I'm really excited to see you guys tomorrow, really really. I've missed you. Please don't judge/hate me when you see that I'm still as huge as I ever was.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
i must be the most pathetic human being on the planet.
and?
to those of you, who are better than me.
those of you i've encountered over the years.
even those of you who were never mean to me.
for some reason i hate you too.
i hate you for being far, far better than me.
I'm really excited to see you guys tomorrow, really really. I've missed you. Please don't judge/hate me when you see that I'm still as huge as I ever was.
TROLL.
a) you were NEVER huge.
b) Even if you were we wouldn't care.
c) Seeing you starting to find freedom from ED behaviours and thoughts is absolutely amazing and I feel privileged to be able to be alongside you on the journey.
If you hadn't being acting like a prize arse recently, they wouldn't have started rethinking everything and I wouldn't get to reunite and spend Christmas with my brother and my nephews. You've done me a huge favour, so thank you. Now, I'm off to cover up your name on Dad's arm.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
Duty doctor, Y U NO call me back?
I'm going to get in trouble with ALL the people if I don't start being able to eat very soon. I'm trying to maintain a vaguely healthy weight but it's bloody difficult when I feel sick ALL the days and my head is spinning. Which reminds me, body, Y U NO chill the fuck out?
