It's lucky you lot are all so good at putting the pieces together because that would have totally gone unnoticed by me. I need to polish up my abilities to detect things :P
This depressive episode needs to fuck off, I can't do this again. I can't. I can't talk to S, she has far too much to deal with right now and I need support.
I love you, sweetness. And no matter what I'll be here for you, even if it kills me.
Philip and Patrick, please grow up to be big and strong and give Momma S a big smile. Love Mamma M.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
Please shut the hell up, I'm exhausted and I hate you all when you're drunk, I don't enjoy listening to your sexist, foul language 'banter'. And screaming 'chug', 'down it' and 'BBC' whilst jumping and hammering on the floor/ table.
You all know I'm particularly ill at the moment. What I appreciate even less is the drunk people attempting to get into my room thinking its my flat mates. It's not hilarious when it doesn't open.
Just either go out or shut up and contain yourselves in the kitchen with the door shut.
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
Bloody hell what is it now? I know it's probably stupidly trivial but I'm only just starting to get over the eczema flare up due to stress from the last episode of mentalness. Being unable to move properly due to skin conditions isn't fun.
Body, can you not react physically to stress, please? Or if you do have to react release some nice endorphins or something, just not anymore flare ups please.
You fucking bastards.
How fucking dare you.
Like im not already wound up enough already. You know don't you? You want to tip me over the edge.
It's taking all my energy and willpower not to break every window on this bus and kill anyone who tries to stop me.
You lot have been messing me around for far too fucking long.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
This isn't a friendship. You are not my friend. You are so self-centered it's unreal. If the attention isn't on you then you act out. You didn't even have the respect to sit and let me have my check in, you stormed out even though we were about to have a break. I have tried time and time again to support and help you with nothing in return and you didn't even have the decency to sit and pretend to care.
Well you got what you wanted, people noticed! They wanted me to text you to see if you were okay but why the hell should I? Why should I check up on you and support you time and time again when you make absolutely no effort to even listen to me when I'm desperate and distressed.
Friendship works two ways and I'm tired of being taken for granted.
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
I really hope you have a lovely evening, and I'ma be okay at home tattooing, but if you come home smelling of alcohol then I can't have sex with you tonight. You know why.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I know I was incredibly nervous, but I'm secretly disappointed it's had to be cancelled. I wanted to finish what I started (though, admittedly, messed up along the way). Wanted to prove I could do it.
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