M - I've missed you more than you think. You're my best friend and you've helped me so much even when we've been apart. I can't wait for you to come to London and we'll go out and have fun.
Mum - I still miss you even after how you treated me.
Maybe, and sounding selfish here, just once, you could be there for me when i need you and not make me feel worse by having to ask - maybe you could just for once ask me if i'm ok?
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Either you two are fucking, gone home, or having a great time.
Whichever one of these you're doing, I feel like you should have told me you were going.
i love you. i love you so much. i just cant get myself to say it.... rejection isn't something i think i can handle... i guess i'm a coward. until i can get myself the courage to say something, i suppose i'll just watch from afar. i dont want to seem like a stalker, but guess that's the only thing i can do to be near you...hmm
I am so sorry for all I put you through. I'm sorry for hurting you and scaring you. I'm sorry for snapping at you and making you feel like crap. I really sorry for how I've treated you recently, I don't mean to be this way.
I really do love you with all my heart.
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
I've always followed my gut. And right now it's telling me things are about to go tits up again. I've only just started rebuilding my life, I really don't want to end up so ill I end up in hospital again. I Cant go back there. I just cant.
♪♫ I'm Learning To Be Brave In My Beautiful Mistakes ♫♪
I wish there wasn't a bank holiday tomorrow. I wish I could sit there and tell you how I tried to call you before it happened. I sat there and sobbed because I didn't know what to do, I knew I needed help. All I kept getting was one ring then voicemail. You never phoned back. I really needed you.
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
Is it good or bad not to cry when someone is abusive towards me? Why do I still get shaken up, even so, when I'm so used to being abused? Why is it always something I do wrong somehow that makes me get abused or humiliated?