I hate that you can see everything I do. I hate that exposed feeling. Watching my back. I preferred it much better when you were sulking and weren't here.
so yeah I'm not ok. but I'm too worried about your health and whats up with your liver to let you worry about me. without you fighting would be so much harder
I thought you were my friend so why are you doing this to me? Is everything you said a lie? Dont worry though I get the hint you wont hear from me again. But for the record I think you ignoring me is just plain rude!
If you don't want to see me again, and I understand if you don't, please just reply to my text and tell me. I don't want to keep waiting for something that won't happen
i know that I was probably just another girl but it felt different with you ...
Joking about cheating on me is not and will never be funny. I'm fucking paranoid enough already that everyone hates me and wants me to die enough already, I can't do this. I actually cannot do this. Fuck waiting until X date. I'm done.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
Golly gosh, it seems that I've gotten myself in a bit of a pickle. I'm not quite sure how to unpickle myself either. I need to stop posting here so much, I am all the annoying.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I want to talk to you but I don't know how to start a conversation and if you'll think I'm weird for doing so. Blargh.
---
I am torn between missing my friends here/needing support and being too scared to get involved with this forum again because of how much it makes my life seem to revolve around mental illness. But I also can't live in denial that I am not doing well.
Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings,
About fire in our bellies and furtive little feelings,
And the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering,
And help us with remembering that the only thing that's left to do is live.
I haven't thought about you in ages, but for some odd reason I am now. And you know what? It wasn't me who fucked up. It was you. You let me down. You hurt me. You BROKE me and didn't even bat an eyelid. And the sick thing is... I would take you back in a heart beat.
I love you so much, but you don't care. I need you so much, but you don't care. I've asked for your help before and now you've abandoned me. You've no idea how much I need you or how much I miss you. I'm falling apart without you and you don't even know. I wish I could see you, talk to you, be with you.
I love you.
Gah, I'm gonna miss you so much >.< I wish you could come... or something, I don't know. I know I'm going there to work, so I hope this doesn't distract me too much. Just can't stop thinking about how difficult it'll be to not have you around for the next few weeks.
And... you know you can still look for someone better when I'm gone. Just in case anything, erm, happens to me. Yeah, it would tear me apart, and I don't want you to... but maybe it's better for you.
I hate to think about that. Making me cry right now. I really don't want you to... I want to stay with you. But also want what's best for you. Know you've said you don't want to leave... just still thinking about how much I don't want to hurt you in the case that I don't make it.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
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