Avoiding things and making up excuses is what got you like this so that's why you need to face up to it. We have this every single time, go to uni and talk to your tutor. You'll be fine once it's out of the way, you always are!
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
Am I not even worth a reply? Or do you just not want to answer that question? You were my best friend for 4 years. You knew all my struggles and I knew yours. Now we barely have any contact and I don't know where I stand. Except for that I miss you.
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
Fuck you, and fuck your disciplinary meeting on Monday. You make my life sheer hell. I just don't care anymore. And honestly that's what upsets me most, not that you're most likely gonna fire me, but the fact that if you do I simply won't care
~ SilentBoy
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
X: I feel terrible. I don't know what I can do to help you.
Y, Z, A: Why don't you think about the consequences of your actions? Why does it all have to fall back on me? Something that happened three days ago is being dragged back with an angry email or a telephone call. Isn't it enough that you made me cry? I don't know what you expect to gain from this. The situation has happened, it's in the past, it's done and dusted, so why am I living in fear of serving you, Y, at the till or of seeing you, Z, whenever? The thing that pisses me off the most is that you won't think. None of you are thinking about the consequences or repercussions. None of you. And you call yourself decent individuals.
Z, I'm genuinely scared to see you again in case you yell at me and intimidate me. I'm not scared of two things next week; Monday and Tuesday, in case you come along and shout. If you do, I'll not only have you to deal with but my father, too, who will go insane. I can't deal with all of that and not come off badly. I can't. I'll overdose, I know it. I'm actually frightened and shaking and feel like crying.
I will never ever be able to forgive myself. who could? i wonder how you are, if you turned out ok, do you still think of it, does it haunt you? haunts me. my penance.
It's not even a "relationship." I feel more like a friend than anything. You're not even there. There's nothing to keep me from leaving. I'm so sick and tired of this, and can't deal with it much longer.
---
Hah, right, you're "there" for me alright. So I suppose that means cutting off communications and deleting me, right.
Thanks a lot. I have no one to turn to.
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
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