So I had a melt down when I heard that someone tried to commit suicide. Kinda happy that it was you 2 caught in the cross fire because you were the ones that deserves the verbal beating. Still wish you could have shut your mouths though, I hate the emotional clean up of all your bs.
:D Feels so amazing being pushed back again, I always enjoyed the lows that come with it.
Fuck me [don't really]. I'm so scared and out of my depth and I want to talk to you but you don't even care anymore because you're too busy being a twat and you'd only tell me to man up anyway, or try to belittle stuff.
Raarrwwwggghhhh. ALL the fear.
I didnt need this sudden onset of serious fatigue. Fucking hell.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
J - Things may be a mess but you're still alive and that alone goes to prove what an amazingly strong person you are and as long as you stay alive, things can get better! Love you <3
Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky, like a patient etherized upon a table
- T.S. Elliot
All I want, more than anything, is for someone to text, call or come round and tell me that I am going to be okay. I really can't see it and I need someone to tell me I will be.
I can't do this. I want to die. I'm not sure i can get through this evening.
I'm going to do something here. And i'm not allowed help.
Because apparently, if i ask for help, everybody get hurts.
Because i am evil. A disguisting person. SELFISH SLAG.
You've taken three children away from us today.
And very nearly me and my own brother.
And for what?
i can't do this.
i want to die.
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears...
Maybe if you were at Uni more often and not off sleeping with your bf, and maybe if you actually acted like our Vice President and not a complete and utter t**t then you would not being making such a fuss about the library being closed on 1 FU**ING day! Like seriously who the f**k do you think you are! You are such a bitch and I can't stand you.
Maybe I do need to calm down but maybe you need to stop trying to make your bf love you and actually do your job.
I'm really scared I'm making myself laxative dependant.
I'm ashamed of myself and I'm worried about how I'm going to cope.
You'd think I'd have learned after I've screwed my body up enough with these shenanigans in the past.
I hate myself so much I could scream.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
We may bump into each other in hockey games if I skate in sheffield but I have no need to contact you anymore and with this message I say goodbye. If you ever do split up with sue to be with kate please make sure the kids dont get hurt.
Goodbye and thanks for getting me into ice hockey.
Laura.
I want to cut so much, but i cant bring myself to do it. Why cant i just do it and bleed and be done with it. And then he can see how much pain he causes me. Please just tell me something
~ SilentBoy
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
I know that you are close my love. The thing is that doesn't give me any comfort. It only scares me. Because all it means is that you will see how disgusting and heavy I am much sooner.
I know you will see me differently, no matter how much you try to convince me otherwise.
I hate you for promising things to me that you know you can't keep.
I wish you were there to tell me it will be okay. Why is it I can be there for you, but you can't be there for me when I need you most?
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
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