Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
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I really feel like I can't turn to anyone about this...this is the first time I've felt like cutting in 3 and a half months. The first time since I started dating C. The first time since I was done with J....And there he goes and pops up on the facebook search when I'm trying to look up jesse...like really? he's not even my friend anymore. why is he the first person to pop up? With his new profile picture...she's so pretty...I wish I was that pretty. Maybe then he wouldn't have left....
On top of all this I feel like everything is falling apart with C....Idk why. I'm too whiny too annoying, too much of an attention whore....too young/immature...maybe because I told Alex he was being an asshole..I feel like that broke something. I'm a failure. I just want to see the blood. feel the sting...:/
If C were to hurt me, I don't think I could ever trust a guy again. I've never been able to trust any guy as much as him
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
Noone sees it. Invisible. I fake it so well. Hide everything. So much work. Too tired of the effort put into holding myself together. Too many pieces. One of these times I will shatter to pieces. And then everyone will see the mess I really am.
Don't expect me to be all supportive of you now. Where have you been the last few days for me? Don't worry, I never expected any different and the sad thing is - neither did anybody else. Everyone knew that it was all a one-sided friendship and that I was the fool that allowed that to happen. I wanted to give you another chance though. I thought now you knew what it was like, you might be different. I blamed your crappiness on ignorance but you can't claim that now. I'm getting stronger with you and you don't like it. I need to though. It hurt too much.
Dear Jeremy.
I fucking hate you. I wish you the worst.
Sincerely,
Another girl you treated like trash.
Why the hell? I mean really, why? I'm happy with C, why does my past have to come up and fuck everything up with him? I am completely terrified that you won't forgive me.
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
You know...its been such an incredibly long time since we have talked. I tried adding you on facebook awhile ago but you didnt add me. its ok though, im still incredibly grateful to you for teaching me how to live with myself and for teaching me a lot about myself. For such a long time your friendship was so much more than important to me, you have always been one of my best friends Nats, even if we no longer talk.
Ill always remember our friendship and cherish it.
You're home early. Completely unannounced, uncalled for, and unexpected.
I'm trying not to cry.
I want you to go.
I feel like screaming it at you.
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
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