OD thoughts?

[RoxanaRosaBella]

Hi, I'm not sure where to start but here it goes...
These past few weeks have been really hard. I have had two of my aunties pass away, had my ESA assessment which wasn't very nice, I've ended up quitting college, my partner has now decided to quit university and now I'm in a massive overdraft (it's complicated).
I've been feeling the urge to overdose every day for the past few weeks. I haven't yet but its still there. I don't know what to do about it. I feel exhausted as I'm constantly being happy and energetic around all my family and friends as I can't let them see me being upset.
I am rapidly running out of reason's not to OD. And I'm not sure who to talk to. i don't want to go to A+E and end up being there hours for them to just send me home again. I have mentioned this to my counsellor but she keeps assuring me things will get better. Im just not seeing it atm...
Im not sure what im after from this post tbh just need some advice maybe?

[Too Shy]

I'm sorry to hear things have been so hard the last few weeks. That's an awful lot to be dealing with at once, so it's no wonder things are so overwhelming.

It's brilliant that you've fought that urge to overdose so far. Although it might be hard to see reasons not to at the moment, it really is the best thing for you to stay safe. What's making you want to overdose at the moment, how would it make you feel?

Do your family/friends know that you're struggling at all at the moment? It's very draining putting on a happy act all the time. If you can it would be really great if you could try to open up a bit - you've had so much to deal with, so I'm sure they won't be expecting that everything's all absolutely great for you.

x

[RoxanaRosaBella]

I just feel like I've let everyone down and I can't let them down anymore so why bother not over-dosing. I don't want to tell my family as it will only upset them. My partner knows but, he doesn't know what to say. My mum expects me to be always fine and if I'm not it's her fault so I don't really want to mention it to her. It just feels like I've failed at everything else why not just do me a favour and end it? It's not like anyone's going to miss me?.