The crisis team came out today and if anyone's seen my previous thread about my ex passing away (father to my daughter). They came and he said "it's tragic what's happened but you need to move on, they'll be other people" like sorry but he isn't even cold yet. Sorry you can't accept the way I feel but I have no interest in living right now. I really don't. I feel so unsafe but hey like they said if your gonna do it then I'll do it. They can't watch me 24/7. So don't worry won't waste anyone's time.
I've phoned em and said thanks for there help but don't need it anymore. I was told a doctor was meant to come out today and hospital was mentioned. I was meant to be given sleeping tablets. Nothing!!!!!
Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your ex passing away, it must be a very difficult time for you.
That was very insensitive of the CT to say those things about moving on. Grieving is a process and everyone goes through it at a different pace, there si absolutely no wrong way to grieve.
I think, when they tell people that they can't watch them 24/7, and 'if you are gonna do it you are gonna do it', it is often heard as kind of a challenge by the patient, and often heard as they simply don't care. But I think, what they actually mean when they say things like that is that it is also the patient's responsibility to stay alive. As much as they will do what they can to help, being at the other end of the phone, visiting daily/more/less, it is ultimately still down to the patient to utilise their help and try to help themselves to stay alive.
Do you find distractions helpful when tyou are feeling suicidal?
Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your ex passing away, it must be a very difficult time for you.
That was very insensitive of the CT to say those things about moving on. Grieving is a process and everyone goes through it at a different pace, there si absolutely no wrong way to grieve.
I think, when they tell people that they can't watch them 24/7, and 'if you are gonna do it you are gonna do it', it is often heard as kind of a challenge by the patient, and often heard as they simply don't care. But I think, what they actually mean when they say things like that is that it is also the patient's responsibility to stay alive. As much as they will do what they can to help, being at the other end of the phone, visiting daily/more/less, it is ultimately still down to the patient to utilise their help and try to help themselves to stay alive.
Do you find distractions helpful when tyou are feeling suicidal?
I know it is my responsibility to stay alive. Like it was just his respincibility to take his life though I blame myself. I know they can only do so much. I didn't even want to see them or be under them because I know theyed say that but my therapist said if I didn't they would get the police and I couldn't be bothered to argue. I told them I don't want to waste there time or anyone else's anymore because if I'm gonna do it I will do it. I want to do it. Talking isn't going to make anything better or change my mind. I'm done talking. Distractions used to help but it doesn't matter what I do at the moment it won't stop in my head. I don't even want any help. I just want to be left to my own devices. I'm done with life. I wasn't having a go btw if that's how it came across
Just to put it into a different perspective... you mention it was your daughter's father that passed away. That means if you die, she will have lost both parents and in a very short space of time. How do you think she will cope with that? Unfortunately, suicide doesnt take away the pain, it just passes it to someone else, in this case your daughter who will have to then deal with the pain of two parental deaths.
You said you want to be left to your own devices and you are done with life, but there must be a small part of you that wants to cling to life and get help otherwise you wouldnt have reached out here. And that is good!
Just to put it into a different perspective... you mention it was your daughter's father that passed away. That means if you die, she will have lost both parents and in a very short space of time. How do you think she will cope with that? Unfortunately, suicide doesnt take away the pain, it just passes it to someone else, in this case your daughter who will have to then deal with the pain of two parental deaths.
You said you want to be left to your own devices and you are done with life, but there must be a small part of you that wants to cling to life and get help otherwise you wouldnt have reached out here. And that is good!
I don't know. It's a conflict in my head a small part doesn't want to die because I bet a small part of him didn't by knowing him adrenaline would of kicked in when he swallowed it this is what he was battling with but its when the impulsive dark side takes over for even a split second I'm trying to reach out, I'm trying to help myself I rang my therapist which I don't usually do in crisis but I know at one point very soon it's gonna take over and in a split second I would of done something I regret but it will be to late. I'm trying so hard. I don't want my daughter to go through this pain but there's only so much I can take. I'm sorry if I sound cruel to parents out there. She's in safe hands.
The crisis team came out today and if anyone's seen my previous thread about my ex passing away (father to my daughter). They came and he said "it's tragic what's happened but you need to move on, they'll be other people" like sorry but he isn't even cold yet. Sorry you can't accept the way I feel but I have no interest in living right now. I really don't. I feel so unsafe but hey like they said if your gonna do it then I'll do it. They can't watch me 24/7. So don't worry won't waste anyone's time.
I've phoned em and said thanks for there help but don't need it anymore. I was told a doctor was meant to come out today and hospital was mentioned. I was meant to be given sleeping tablets. Nothing!!!!!
Sorry you haven't found the crisis team helpful, you said a doctor was meant to come out, maybe they were unable to get a doctor to come out because the holidays, and you said hospital was mentioned, do you feel hospital would help?
Sometimes it's better and easier to stay at home with the help of the crisis team, and other organisations, but if you're really unsafe then maybe hospital would be an option, if you feel in urgent need of treatment to keep you safe, there is always A&E.
I know it's hard, but if you are able to stay safe until Monday, then maybe you could see your GP as an emergency, explain the situation and maybe get some sleeping tablets.
Grieving is a difficult process, and your daughter will be grieving too, is there anyone else who you're both close to who you could invite to stay? to help you through the grieving process, especially as your daughter is gonna need you, please try to be strong and just know that if you want to talk we're here on RYL :) *hugs*
Im going back to Derby tomorrow and am now discharged back to them. I'm not really bothered on letting people know what i'm gonna do anymore, dunno why i was, if i'm gonna do it, i'll do it. My daughter two and a half she doesn't understand whats happening right now.
