New baby...stress

Sunshine · 14-04-2015, 09:39 PM

Hi,

So I have a 7 week old baby and a 3 year old son. My baby isn't sleeping through the night im lucky if I get 2 hours sleep consecutivly a night before being woken up to feed for 20/30 mins and then spend 30 mins trying to burp and settle him.

I'm breastfeeding so my husband can't help with the night feeds and he also had to work so even if he could I would feel guilty asking him. I can't sleep during the day because of my 3 year old and when he goes to preschool I'm having to answer emails for my parents.

It's all compounded by the fact he screams if he isn't being held.

I feel like im constantly stressed and I can't see an end! When wil I sleep? Every day I get more and more tired because I'm unable to catch up on all of these weeks of little/ disturbed sleep. I'm getting depressed and a bit hopeless.

I know that every parent goes through this but how? I feel like a mess! And I'm fed up of not being able to do anything because I'm clumsy or my brain is just working half speed! I look like a spotty unwashed tramp and feel so totally stupid!

Hannahw4 · 15-04-2015, 01:52 AM

Hey I know exactly how you feel I was in the same situation not that long ago (I don't have another child though) my daughter is nearly 10 months and the first few months were a nightmare for sleep. I really praise you for how well you'll be doing, it must be so much harder having another child to care for too! It does get much better as your baby starts to settle more,I know that it's an annoying thing to have someone say to you but it really does. You'll end up looking back and thinking how fast it went even though it may seem like time is so slow at the minute.
Keep praising yourself, youre doing great!

Eir · 15-04-2015, 05:01 AM

I ended up co-sleeping and breastfeeding, that was the only way I got sleep. I was med free and not smoking, so it was relatively safe. Although I now have a two year old who sleeps at the end of the bed :-/ I only have the one tho
You are doing well. Sleep was hell that first couple of months. I did manage to save my melt down until after she was 20 months old. Don't know how. Probably in no healthy way, considering I had a meltdown.

Shenanigans · 16-04-2015, 04:54 PM

That sounds very stressful especially as you'll stillbe recovering from birth.

Have you considered getting a breast pump so your partner can help with night feeds? I can understand feling guilty as he works, but you guys are a team and it is a lot to take on with the stresses of your daytime as well.

Also, if he likes being held perhaps a sling would help, gives you a bit more freedom.

Have you spoken to your health visitor/gp about how your little one has been, ruling out some common ailments that might be unsettling him? I only ask as my first few months with my wee man were pretty hellish until we finally got him diagnosed with silent reflux. They may have some good advice on helping settle him and making life a little easier for you.

Could you also perhaps ask if your parents if you can take a break for a few days/weeks from answering emails so you can get more of a rest while your 3year old is away?

It's ok to be stressed. It's ok to not enjoy every single second with your little one because it is hard and it does drag you down, exhaustion can be so completely demoralising. You're doing amazingly but perhaps trying to be a bit of a super woman? Remember that you are recovering too right now, and that it's ok to ask for support from those around you when you need it.

Starla · 03-05-2015, 03:37 AM

How's life going with the baby? Both of my babies were terrible sleepers and since they were breastfed we wound up cosleeping which helped me get more sleep. I understand how overwhelming having a new baby can be. My first child also wanted to be held a lot so I put her in a sling a lot. I have friends who swear by swaddling and cluster feeding to get their babies to sleep better...however I never had such luck so I personally believe some babies are just tough. Hang in there, it will get better.

Beautifully Broken · 01-06-2015, 07:12 PM

Sunshine, I know how you feel. When F was born, I was breast feeding and she only wanted to be held and sleep on me majority of the time. We ended up letting her sleep on my chest for a few months and feeding as she woke. I didn't feel safe letting her sleep in the bed so I could breast feed, but that was just my personal choice. I have heard that breast fed babies don't need burping as they're less likely to swallow air when feeding so maybe your baby doesn't need winding?

It does get easier with the nights. You'll soon work out a routine that works for all of you. I can't compare about day time as we still only have F and not planning on another!

Hope things work out for you soon.

Moonlight Princess · 01-06-2015, 07:21 PM

How would you feel Polly about asking your parents to look after your three year old for a while? Would that be feasible? I'm sure they would understand how difficult things are with two young children. I really hope things settle down for you soon :)

Robertwalker · 09-06-2015, 06:09 AM

Every women's goes with this problem, stress and also depression. I think at this time a support of your husband is very important. He should help you to manage the work, so that you should reduce your work load and remain stress free.

Sunshine · 10-06-2015, 11:51 PM

Hi everyone,

It's been a long time since I've been on ryl.

My baby is now sleeping through the night (has been for a weeks) yay.
He is almost 4 months and has chicken pox ATM ( caught it from his older brother) so it's horrible to see him all spotty and will be worse when they turn scabby as well.

I'm finding I get really emotional and up and down more then usual at the moment and I think it's compounded by the fact that I get really dizzy a lots and feel like I'm going to fall. I also cannot stop bumping into things and my brain just feels foggy constantly.

My health visitor left and I was meant to be transferred to someone else but they never got in contact and I've been discharged from perinatal MHS so I could get some kind of therapy from IAPT. I haven't called IAPT to arrange an appointment and my dr called to arrange to see her since being discharged but I didn't go cos my 3 year old had chicken pox.

I'm being really lax about accessing support because I don't really know if anything is wrong. I'm probably just really hormonal..when I'm sad I'm depressed but when I'm happy I'm ok.

Thank you all for your ongoing support
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